contamination ocd

[Sms36]

I am looking for help/advice for severe contamination anxiety.

[deValentin]

A lot of things are possible. One can touch a doorknob and pick up a germ. A meteorite could fall through one’s roof. One can be hit by lightening. However, some possibilities are more disturbing than others depending on individuals. In your case, it’s the possibility of falling sick by touching or consuming certain things. Intellectually, you may think it’s irrational to take more precautionary measures to stay healthy than a medical doctor would recommend. Emotionally, it’s a different story. ERP is the best treatment so far to reconcile your affect and your intellect in that respect. Do what an OCD-free person would do in the same situation, feel the anxiety and do nothing to relieve it. It’s hard work, there may be some relapses, but with habituation, you’ll notice overall your anxiety going down in that area of your life. Some people use self-therapy, others prefer a therapist. In any case, it helps to have supportive people around you. The International OCD Foundation also offers a lot of educational resources. If you have specific questions along your journey towards an OCD-free life, don’t hesitate to ask.

[Sms36 in reply to deValentin]

Thank you so much for your reply. It’s such a struggle and I haven’t told anyone about it. I’m more into self help stuff, therapy can be so expensive.

[deValentin in reply to Sms36]

I know, therapy can be terribly expensive if you don't have insurance. What's making it worse is that OCD is so time-consuming that you may lose your source of income, and with it goes your insurance. People may also be ashamed to have OCD because of stigma, which prevents them from reaching out openly. However, your struggle against OCD is shared by many. It's why websites like this one are very helpful.

[Weeping_Willow in reply to deValentin]

I just wanted to note that I noticed that there was an assumption that contamination OCD equates to a fear of getting sick. Whereas I have severe contamination OCD but it is more a phobia of the contamination itself. I don't want to have other people's secretions and other bodily fluids on me or my possessions. It can also attach to certain types of people or even individuals.

[Sms36 in reply to Weeping_Willow]

So true! My biggest fear is passing any contamination/illness onto my family/loved ones. I worry more about that.

[deValentin in reply to Weeping_Willow]

I don’t think that OCD thoughts content matters that much. You could have obsessional fear of getting sick yourself, of making others sick, or obsessional disgust at certain substances (or other stimuli). The last obsession is indeed very close to a phobia, but, whereas with phobias you usually overreact to something you perceive, with obsessional disgust, your mind may be more tormented by possibilities of contact or mental associations with something that arouses disgust in you. The treatment is the same though. You need to get out of your zone of comfort and do what OCD-free people would do in the same circumstances. It’s not easy first, but it gets better with time. The alternative is to be ruled by OCD the rest of your life. It’s somewhat like gambling. The more you gamble, the more you need to continue to recoup your losses. You need to stop gambling at one point to lose the urge to gamble. Likewise, the more you invest in OCD, the more difficult it is to return to a more reasonable life.

[Weeping_Willow in reply to deValentin]

I know. I was in crisis 2 years ago to the point where I couldn't cope with the tiniest idea of any contamination at all where usually I could at least say, the amount after the long shower would be so slight it wouldn't count. I couldn't eat some days because it meant 12 or more hours of rinsing and wiping my mouth and not being able to talk and there were other compulsions, so I would just get up in the morning and cry because I knew all the rituals would begin again after sometimes not even getting to bed until 8am. I lost so much weight (probably about 100 lbs which for me, people said I look slim at 136) and a size 6 was way too big for me so I think I was a size 2. I looked 30 years older than my age. It was terrible.

I am in a similar situation in regards to what started it (I am in the UK with my family) and am heading back to the states in the next few weeks. Last time that is when it got even worse just because being in the UK during Covid had set it off really badly and then it continued to spiral when home in the US again.

I finally got therapy when I knew I couldn't survive anymore without it and it helped a lot, but I do find it difficult to push too far as I really fear that what if the anxiety doesn't go away and everything in my life feels even worse and I cannot cope at all. I know that not giving into OCD really does work and the anxiety about the contamination will lessen and finally feel 'normal' but I don't have enough faith or strength to just take the leap, even though I also know that I am living in such despair right now that surely even the anxiety couldn't be worse and I would be free to breath.

I just don't even know what normal is anymore either. And there are different norms for different people.

[Sms36 in reply to Weeping_Willow]

I can relate to you so much. Honestly, I’m glad to have connected with you! Like you said, I know that just not giving into the intrusive thoughts and not doing any rituals would make this so so much better. But I am terrified to do so. I have been waking up hours before j used to with anxiety. I am so afraid that I’m going to be like this forever, I can’t do this forever. Something has to help.

[deValentin in reply to Sms36]

I reckon that Response Prevention is not easy. Let me tell you what makes it easier for me, but it may not work for everybody. I introduce the “timing or momentum factor” into my therapy. When you give in to rituals or other compulsions, other problems accumulate in your life: you may not properly take care of yourself (sleep, meals, exercises, distractions, etc.), you may miss work or appointments, you may neglect your family responsibilities, etc. A lot of pressure is piling up on you to return to a more sensible life. The more the pressure increases, the more urgent it becomes to succeed your obsessional search when you don’t perceive any other way to return to an overall satisfying life. The work not done is weighing on your mind and fueling OCD. You’d like to return to a more sensible life, but not before you obtain the mental relief you’re obsessionally looking for. “Let me get the just right feeling or settle what’s currently disturbing my mind, and then (and only then) I’ll do what’s reasonable”, you tell yourself.

When you engage in compulsions, there are no perceptible immediate costs to it because you deflect the pressure by hoping it won’t take too long for the discomfort to go away and the ability to focus on the other areas of your life to return. However, there are immediate costs to practice ERP: it’s momentarily distressing. So, it’s tempting to choose the first alternative over the second one.

To compensate for that, during an OCD crisis, I practice Response Prevention just enough to regain my ability to focus on an OCD-free task or activity. I don’t wait too long to perform OCD-free tasks or activities. I find it makes ERP more bearable. If I wait too long it makes it hard to tolerate the anxiety caused by resisting OCD urges because, in the back of my mind, I never know whether I’ll be able afterwards to do, with some degree of satisfaction, what my better judgment is telling me to do. And success breeds success. What’s normal? It’s what most people would do in my situation, given my personality and my values. It’s what I used to do before OCD invaded my life. It’s what I would do if OCD stopped bothering me.

[deValentin in reply to Weeping_Willow]

I see your point: ERP could be distressing at times. In my opinion, to make it more palatable, you need to involve yourself in interesting and fulfilling activities completely unrelated to OCD without unnecessary delay. The purpose of ERP is to free oneself from OCD, but what’s the point to have an OCD-free life if one doesn’t enjoy it? With OCD, you get at least short-term relief from anxiety. In my opinion, a complete therapy should guide the patient towards an overall satisfying OCD-free life. It’s why I also practice Acceptance and Commitment therapy or ACT. After OCD worries leave me reasonably alone with Response Prevention, I don’t wait too long to invest time and efforts into activities I really value. The satisfaction I derive from them makes OCD lose more of its appeal. In that regard, I totally relate to what said the Scottish Philosopher David Hume who experienced bouts of existential OCD in the 18th century: “I dine, I play a game of back-gammon, I converse, and am merry with my friends; and when after three or four hour's amusement, I wou'd return to these speculations, they appear so cold, and strain'd, and ridiculous, that I cannot find in my heart to enter into them any farther”.

[Yani2302]

I don't have it, but erp, will help you, before i had fear of unwashed teeth, and i start cleaning them multiple time, because i get obsessed about clean teeth, i still struggle with it, because i hate my dirty teeth, so do it like 1 or 2 times and say to yourself i can do it, the anxiety will go away

[Sms36 in reply to Yani2302]

Thanks so much!

[beth196]

why note take meds and do erp I'm so much happier. My lexapro stopped working and I switched to prozac40mg and klonopin .75mg till the prozac fully kicks in which can be 5 weeks. you can do ERP too. why suffer?

[mmmmww]

Check out my posts, you should find some useful stuff in those ☺️