OCD- urge to confess- guilt and more.

[Bluebell_5]

Hi all! Going to try to keep the backstory short and simple. I am diagnosed with generalized anxiety, depression, OCD, and bipolar disorder. I’ve been in therapy for a very long time along with medication management.

My OCD theme currently, is the urge to confess, and feeling guilty about essentially “silly” situations. Not silly to me, but that’s a word that others may use that don’t quite understand.

For example.. I went to the store today by myself(my boyfriend is at work) a man was standing with his friend out side of the store, and he jumped to grab the door for me. My immediate internal reaction was panic and dread. Then I heard him say to his friend that he’s distracting him from being a gentleman and I kept my head down and thanked him again and continued to walk into the store.

I currently feel as though I have to confess this incident to my boyfriend as I feel as though I did something terribly wrong or inappropriate. The feeling of panic nausea and dread have not left since that incident.

With that being said, can anyone relate? Does anyone deal with this? I feel like I am drowning, I feel utterly disgusted with my brain. I try so hard with therapy and medication to be better yet. It seems like every time I take one step forward I take five steps back.

Thanks for listening.

[Hike111]

I have also ocd and anxiety... have you ever tried betablockers or medications that lower your heart rate?I have anxiety for about 15 years and a couple of weeks ago I stumbled across Propranolol and the fact that people use this medication for anxiety.

It's the first medication that really mad a difference for me. My anxiety has become much more manageable, since the physical symptoms are almost completely gone.

It doesn't get rid of negative thoughts, but it gets rid of the shaking and the heart racing. You almost have no choice but to relaxe as soon your mind notices that everything is seemingly fine, because of the missing symptoms of anxiety. My anxiety drops by 80-90% after I took a pill.

It's almost like a little miracle for me.

[Natureloverpeace]

You mentioned being in therapy for a very long time but you didn’t mention an OCD specialist. An OCD specialist is a licensed mental health professional who specializes in OCD and has had specific training to treat OCD. Some therapists claim to be OCD specialists but aren’t. There are questions you can ask a potential therapist to see if they have the expertise to treat OCD. The IOCDF has an article about this or you can call their helpline.

[Rougefleur]

Dear Bluebell, You did nothing wrong, and have no need to confess to anyone. I Also suffer from OCD and General Anxiety Disorder, and for years felt the need to confess to others I believed I was hurting when there was no offense. It was my OCD telling me I was bad snd must suffer for it. Do not listen. It is a cruel trick of this condition. I continue to rely on CBT therapy and anxiety reducing meds prescribed by my doctor. I have made lots of progress over the years, but every so often, I too take a step or two backwards. When that happens, I reach out for support to my friends who truly know me, my spouse, and the experts. Then I try to move on without judging myself. I hope that you are able to do the same. This condition is not what we have chosen. It is what has been imposed on us. And the struggle can get intense if you try to handle it entirely on your own. Seek help where you can and hang in there. We are stronger than we believe.

[deValentin]

If you decide to continue dwelling on your need to confess for “silly” things, there will be no immediate costs to your decision. The sky will not fall on your head. There will be no red lights or warning bells. It’s why it’s tempting to persist engaging in over scrupulosity if you can temporarily escape its negative consequences. It takes time and determination to practice Response Prevention, but, with it, it’s possible to overcome over scrupulosity. It takes patience to see the benefits of ERP though. I'm talking from personal experience.