Hi
My nephew who is 16 has OCD. He is going through a major crisis. He is in so much torment. What can I do ? He is on two medication and is currently in IOP for anxiety. I just recently discovered how bad it has become for him and his family. I’m reading, YouTubing and reaching out to try and help. I love him dearly.
Thanks
I am so sorry to hear that your nephew is going through a very difficult time with OCD.
I am glad that he is taking proper treatment for it.
He needs your support, and it is very valuable.
Try to be there for him, as someone who understands what is OCD, and provides compassion and courage to face the fears of OCD.
He is lucky to having a caring and loving aunt.
I do not have any family support, while suffering with OCD.
Thanks for the support 🙏 . We need to continue to sit in this very uncomfortable space with him.
Hi there! I am so sorry to hear your nephew is going through such a difficult time right now. OCD is like living with a constant bully inside your brain and can be absolutely tormenting and detrimental. I am glad to hear he is on medication and hopefully it is the right one for him. Medicine has been a really great tool to aid me in my recovery. The most important thing is that he is receiving ERP. Without this treatment it isn’t likely he will get better. Exposure and response prevention is the gold standard treatment for OCD because it works. Please let him know that he can recover from this. I have been in that dark place before myself but was able to improve and function again in my life. Not only that, but I am back to actually LIVING my life instead of just surviving. Lastly, your nephew is incredibly lucky to have you. Knowledge is power and the more family and friends become educated on this disorder the better they can help their loved one to improve. You are doing the right thing by researching and gaining an understanding of how different OCD can look for many people. I will be keeping your nephew in my prayers. I know he can get through this! 💖
Thank you for your words of encouragement. That’s it. He’s just trying to survive and keep it together. It’s encouraging to hear that you are better and living. How did you do it?
Well it was not an easy journey but I found a great therapist that specialized in OCD and helped me better understand the disorder and what was going on in my brain. We first started meeting twice a week for an hour and did exposures in office, starting off small and building up to more scary ones. I also had to practice my ERP for at least 30 minutes everyday. This was usually done by creating and re-reading scripts as well as writing and reciting statements such as "What if I am evil" or "What if I never get better". The more you say the thoughts and what ifs the more familiar your brain will become with them and realize that they are not actually threats. Lastly, I had great support on this forum and medication made a huge difference for me - especially in the beginning. It gave me the strength I needed to start doing exposures. Hope this helps!
If he can get into a partial hospitalization program or even better a residential program it would be better. Most IOP programs are only three hours a day and most likely not targeting OCD specifically. If he does not have an IEP at school his parents should get that in place. That will take a lot of the pressure off.
Thanks. We are looking into residential treatment. He was recently discharged from the Obs psych ER due homicidal and suicidal ideation expressed during a family therapy session. His parents had meet with his school for the IEP. He just started IOP as well.
Some days he would be better but for the past 2-3 months he is still really struggling with his intrusive thoughts which makes absolutely no sense.
It doesn’t matter how little the thoughts make sense, it is really the feeling of legitimacy that the thoughts carry they is the whole problem. It doesn’t matter how crazy it seems to anyone else — your nephew has to figure out for himself that the thoughts and feelings that he has are irrelevant. He can choose to ignore them, no matter how pressing and urgent they may feel. It unfortunately takes a while for your brain to catch up and stop sending these signals, but it probably will.
The only way through the hell of these thoughts is to learn to accept their presence and that the thoughts themselves won’t hurt you. This means therapy and actually agreeing that choosing a different course of action is what he really wants to do. For a long time I was convinced that I just hadn’t retreated enough from the world and protected myself well enough from the dangerous thoughts. It is sad to know that sometimes you really have to hit bottom before realizing that doubling down on the same course of avoidance is not going to work.
There is nothing that you can do but show the way and hope that he is willing to follow the long way out of OCD. Accept that he is where he is, and the best course of action to help is just to know that you will be there with him, no matter where that may lead or how slow it may go.
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