Moral OCD vs. Real problems?

Hi,

One question that I get very confused about is this: I am totally willing to (although I know it will be hard) undergo ERP and CBT therapy. However with my OCD (mostly moral/scrupulosity), I feel like there is often a core root of rationality or real cause to be worried underneath all of the anxiety.

For example, if I say something that may have hurt someone's feelings, then I will obsess about it afterwards all day and night. But in reality- sometimes I actually did say something wrong. Most people quickly recover from that and forgive themselves, but I don't. So what I am confused about is- how can I get better from OCD with ERP and CBT if I just can't accept the fundamental idea that humans can be mean sometimes? Thank you.

[BrunoWayne]

I would still recommend trying ERP or CBT. I used to feel the same way- that a lot of my worries were logical and could stand up to even the toughest of reasoning. Instead what ERP/CBT help you do is reframe your issue using logic and not necessarily “reasoning through it”. While it may be logical to worry about hurting someone’s feelings after saying something offensive oftentimes it is the level of worry that is not logical. Or you worry about inoffensive statements causing offense. ERP/CBT will help you think about the issue in a different way. It isn’t perfect but it’s normally a great starting point

[OCDneedshelp in reply to BrunoWayne]

I’d second what Bruno is saying. It’s not that the worry is wrong or unreasonable, it’s how people like us respond to the worry. Someone who doesn’t suffer from OCD might worry that they have hurt someone or offend someone but they are able to accept that and move on. People with OCD get fixated on the what ifs and have such a hard time moving on. I’m sure you know all this already. The point isn’t to figure out if what we obsess about will happen or not, but to accept that uncertainty and just continue to live our lives. Still trying to figure that out after nearly 50 years of life. Good luck.

[Mcfly64]

Both replies spot on. I have similar issues. Especially if I say something negative about someone to somebody else. I then feel extremely guilty and the need to tell the person/confess that I said something negative about them and tell them I am sorry.

[THL1]

Yes people can be mean, kind, annoying, cruel, selfless etc, etc

I think the point at which worrying about our actions veers into OCD is when we ruminate endlessly about relatively minor issues-have we offended someone ?

Rumination is a mental compulsion and OCD kids us into thinking the rumination will appease our anxiety and fears. Best to sit with the thoughts and feelings in awareness without actively engaging with them. This is very subtle. Look up Michael Greenberg-he is very helpful in terms of understanding and managing OCD that involves mental compulsions/ruminations.