I’m desperate for some help

[linkinpark2311]

Let me begin by saying I have been diagnosed with ocd by a therapist.

I have struggles with mental health for years, as long as I can remember actually. Most recently I have been really struggling with the O in ocd. Yesterday I was at home and we had kids playing football outside, they had been kicking the ball over the fence and at the fence all of half term and last night. It got to the point I had enough, I was getting my twins to sleep and it was just constant, then they started banging on the door and woke my daughter up. I just lost it, I opened the door and had a go at them, I barely raised my voice and I know for a fact that I didn’t touch them but my mind is saying what if I did that, what if I did this. I had a full on ocd attack, i could not stop obsessing and worrying to the point of I was thinking what if I get arrested at the gate for something (forgot to mention I’m going on holiday today).

I know that I didn’t do anything, I hate my mind so much. Please give some help

[Mcfly64]

Hello. From what you have said you have done absolutely nothing wrong and different from what any normal parent would do. Are you regularly seeing your therapist and are you on medication?

[linkinpark2311 in reply to Mcfly64]

Hi, yeah I know I did nothing wrong and since then I’ve started feeling better. It’s just in the moment I feel totally helpless. Im so lost and scared in my own head

[lml885]

I have the same thoughts and feelings. I think it relates to me being emotionally sensitive and sensitive to others emotions. I get nervous and overwhelmed with my own feelings and start imagining what I will do when the thoughts come and then I feel ashamed. DBT sometimes works for this.

[Maximus2019]

This is “Pure O”, a type if OCd where the obsession is the prevalent part and where the compulsions are mental compulsions. OCD and pure O are exacerbated by stress. I highly recommend Dr. Steven Phillipson’s youtube videos on Pure O. They were taped around 1990. I also highly recommend the book“Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Ovsessive Compuslive Disorder”. By Jeffrey Schwartz. That book saved me with the “four steps”.

The key is recognize the thought as Ocd when it comes. Don’t fight it or make it important. Try and refocus on something positive that you enjoy, or something productive, for five minutes, then ten minutes, and go longer and longer periods as you get better. When the thought comes up just recognize it and see it from the side for what it is. Accept the thoughts that your mind is throwing at you. Wishing they went away will only make the thoughts stronger. When you see the thoughts for what they are, mental garbage, the ocd “sees” it’s not getting what it wants from you and goes away on its own.