Taboo Tuesday Q&A. 1-31-23

[Anxiouslybalanced]

Q&A: Fear of causing harm to others

Q: Do people with intrusive thoughts about harming others physically and sexually ever act upon their thoughts despite not wanting to? “Giving in” to their thoughts in a way? It’s a terrible fear of mine

A: This is a common question and I’m going to do my best to not reassure. OCD thoughts are ego-Dystonic, meanjng they are outside of who you are. People who have A desire to haRm others arent distressed by such thoughts.

Q: What techniques and guidance would You suggest with erp for harm ocd? You’re awesome btw!

A: You’re awesome too! my best guidance first and foremost is to find a clinician Adadequately trained in treatIng OCD with an evidenced based treatment. Lots of clinicians Say they treat OCD when they really don’t. An experienced and educated clinician will be able to walk you through ERP towards recovery. Interview your clinician before officially hiring them.

Q: I need help dealing with when I feel my thoughts will harm Others. (Not actions/losing control)

A: magical thinking is so common with ocd. It creates the concept that our thoughts have power. Thoughts are thoughts and are neither Good or bad. Non engagement responses (ners) Can be so powerful! check out Dr. Lisa levine and her work with NERs!

Q: Will i ever feel like i am not a monster?

A: People with this Obsessive thought often describe themselves as monsters. Fight back. The ocd can be the monster- not you! Check out Sean Shinnock’s work with monsters!

[OpieD]

I am 67 years old, and have dealt with OCD since I was 15. I didn't even know what it was until I was 35, and stumbled across an article online and realized it had a name. By then I had overcome the worst of it, but it would years before I fully learned the scope of it's effects on my life. Today, only occasional bouts of anxiety remain, which are probably to be expected.

When it first reared it's ugly head, I didn't speak of it to anyone, and I doubt anyone would have known what to do, as kids didn't go to Psychiatrists back then. As terrifying as it is to go through, it can be dealt with. Sometimes it was the minds "little voice" as I like to call it, and sometimes it was just a vague sense of doom for me, or potential harm to someone else, which could be almost incapacitating at times.

I remember the tide turned when I was about 30, when I decided one night after copious amounts of medication (beer in my case,) that I would prove to myself that nothing terrible would happen if I didn't perform whatever ritual it was, and I was just too tired to do it anymore.. The next morning, lo and behold the world was still in tact, and no one I knew had perished because I didn't close the door 3 times (or whatever it was.) That was the day I began to take back my life, although it would be a long journey.

Nowadays, the little voice still whispers in my ear sometimes, but I find it amusing instead of frightening, and no longer fear what I know I can defeat. I've also discovered that it's hereditary, and that my Father had it to a lesser degree, and my nephew has it too, and has been treated for it for years. Sorry for rambling on, but I do like to give hope to others that it can in fact be overcome, and the first step is to find the courage to say no that first time.

Oh, and having a sense of humor really helps. Good luck to all who have this fight thrust upon them. You will emege victorious.

[AlfiePoppy in reply to OpieD]

this gives me hope , thank you x

[SCC1 in reply to OpieD]

"Say no that first time". When that happens, it feels so empowering. I have felt that maybe 3 times and it feels good each time. It's very hard for me to continue to say no, but if I did, I would hope to feel stronger, longer. Actually, I know I would.

Thank you, OpieD, for your kind and caring message. It means a lot! xx

[Anxiouslybalanced in reply to OpieD]

love your message!!!!! Thank you for sharing!

[Nothing_but_books]

I'm interested in what you said about clinicians saying they treat an ailment when they really don’t. How do you know before working with them?

I'm in the U.S. I'd like to find a therapist who'd help with trauma.

Thanks!

[Anxiouslybalanced in reply to Nothing_but_books]

that’s a fantastic question! It is not illegal for a clinician to market that they treat a disorder without the proper knowledge or training; unethical yes, not illegal. When a clinician is licensed in their state is covers all diagnosis and treatment of behavioral disorders within the scope of their license. (E.i. Psychologists can do testing whereas others cannot.)

I strongly encourage clients to interview their therapists. Ask where did they get the specific training (there are a lot of training resources for therapists that are beyond ridiculous and merely help a therapist with the education requirements they need to fulfill their license) have they been treating this condition long; do they have professional references regarding their treatment of this condition; how do they continue with their knowledge of this condition?

I myself have probably over 1000 hours on OCD and treatment; on the flip side, someone who attended a lunch and learn can also advertise that they treat this and have the training. Clients have all the right to advocate for themselves- it’s their livelihood and everyone deserves recovery.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Anxiouslybalanced]

Thank you.

[Anxiouslybalanced in reply to Nothing_but_books]

anytime!