Aloha,
Four to ten times a month I have episodes that start in the afternoon where I become fixated on the symmetry of letters and I can't function because I am so obsessed with them.
I'm better the next day or if I take an ambien.
Does anyone else experience this? Is it even OCD?
I've asked three doctors and they don't know.
Interesting. I wonder if you could keep a log, tracking things like what you had for lunch, whether you skipped lunch, an emotional trigger, etc., and if you're able to find a pattern, maybe you could plan a special activity, maybe with a friend, to stave off an episode, and/or discuss the triggers with a therapist trained in treating OCD. Best wishes.
Thanks for the reply. I've started keeping a journal to find out what could be triggering me. But so far there is no common thread.
Some people have issues with symmetry OCD, where they feel they have to have things aligned a certain way or things need to be done in a certain order.
I guess I would ask how these obsessions make you feel. Do the obsessions cause a lot of distress? Do you compulsively have to do something about them? That is the hallmark of OCD.
OCD isn't really a thinking problem, it's more of a feeling problem. People with OCD will obsess on a thought that causes a lot of anxiety. In order to try and relieve the anxiety they will try and "do" something. That is where compulsions come in. However, this is a positive feedback loop where they reinforce their anxiety. Over time compulsions can get quite time consuming and tedious.
Also, I'll say that OCD tends to wax and wain. This was part of the reason it took me so long to get diagnosed. I'd get really "bad" and after a while feel "better". It took me a while to realize that this was a cycle and I needed to get help. Things started getting better for me when I was just honest with my doctor on what I was feeling. I also asked if he could recommend a therapist. They were able to diagnose that I had OCD in about the first visit since my symptoms were so textbook.
I don't know if this helps, but hopefully it'll give you a bit of insight into what OCD is like.
Thank you. I don't seem to have activities or compulsions that I need to do. Life just stops for me while I fixate on letters. It's the same words usually, my fiance's name, etc.
The need to fixate on those things may be a compulsion. There is "pure O OCD" which deals with unwanted or emotionally disturbing thoughts and images. The sufferer may say they don't have any compulsions, but they ruminate intensely on their thoughts. I'm not saying you have that. I'm not a doctor or a therapist. OCD is so weird and varied that the thoughts can be just about anything. However, like I said previously, the thoughts really don't matter. It's the intense anxiety associated with them that is a hallmark of OCD.
Thanks for your input.
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