OCD and The Big City

[AcapulcoLights]

Hi all this is my first post here to I'm not entirely sure if I'm doing it right, but here I go. So I recently moved to NYC which is a big change for me, I've never lived in a city before. So with living in a big city there are some things that I have to get used to, one of which is taking public transport as having a car there is too much of a pain. I've never really taken public transport regularly and most of time times I've taken it were before I started having major OCD stuff, which for me started in college. My main obsessions are over contamination and health stuff, not COVID surprisingly, but fear of blood and and just other bodily secretions that can cause chronic disease.

I take the subway every day to get to work and it is not terrible, I just try to not touch the bars and I prefer to stand and lean against the window with my backpack resting on the window. But this is not always possible and sometimes I am not in the position to stand without holding the bar or I have to sit. I prefer to hold the bar with my hand and not a sleeve like I've read some other people do because in my head I can wash my hand but sleeves can't be washed until you do laundry. On my way to work I am usually fine as I just accept that I will be 'dirty' for the remainder of the day. I just wash my hands and decontaminate when I get to work and with COVID my workplace sanitizes every night so I am more comfortable using shared equipment there, one of the benefits for people with OCD during COVID. But my main problem is on the way home, as I feel like I have accumulated 'contamination' throughout the day and do not want to bring that back into my apartment. When I get back I usually clean my phone and wash my hands then shower and change into clean clothes. This is fine not ideal as it is a pain and I can feel myself occasionally escalating my compulsions by having to wash my hands more times or clean my phone twice, or even wash my back more in the shower because I leaned back on the subway seat.

I don't know if I even had a question in particular because I've been through this before and successfully lessened obsessions and compulsions through CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and ERP (Exposure Response Prevention Therapy) so I know what to do it just is sometimes so difficult to get back into the routine of doing all of that as well as being in a new environment which feels more scary and 'contaminated' than my last in the suburbs.

I guess if anything what have any of you, who have to take public transport, done to accept or get over your contamination obsessions over it. Or if you haven't dealt with public transit but just want to share your opinion or thoughts/stories I'm open to hear about them.

Sorry for the wall of text.

Thanks!

[MothFir]

Since you notice your compulsions escalating I'd recommend hitting back with some ERP before it gets more out of hand. Even if ERP is challenging in a new environment, it beats the alternative of getting increasingly tangled in rituals and avoidance, which will present you with an even bigger challenge to overcome.

It would probably help to sit down (while you are not triggered) and set some rules of behavior for yourself. Decide what are reasonable precautions in the age of COVID based on your susceptibility, vaccination status, interactions with susceptible people, etc. Call the health department for objective advice if you need to -- tell them you're new to city living and see if they think a shower and clean clothes are important after being out in public. Then stick to your rules of behavior even when your OCD makes you feel like you need to do more. You know you can't trust OCD feelings, and you know you don't need to wash your hands multiple times or clean your phone twice. Attribute those urges to OCD and move on even though you may feel contaminated. Again, that's not always easy but in the long run it's much easier than the alternative.

FWIW, I've always lived in rural areas outside of a small city, and I'm always more comfortable away from noise and crowds. However I do enjoy spending a few days in cities where I can walk a block to get dinner or take a train across town and not have to sit in traffic. Don't let OCD ruin your new experiences by bossing you into unnecessary behaviors. Educate yourself on what is reasonable and refuse to play along when OCD tells you to do more "just in case."

[Brighter_Days in reply to MothFir]

Mothfir,Thank you so much for that response. It was very well written and describes the way I feel about germs, especially public restrooms. My husband absolutely does not understand and sometimes gets quite putout with me because of my needing his reassurance. I am going to look up those websites myself.

It’s nice to know that there are people who understand what I’m going through.