Need Help

[Meyer_Gdmnx]

Hello everyone I hope you’re all staying safe abs well during all of this and I’d like to thank you for your continued support not just to me but to everyone on this wonderful forum.

I’m just so tired of it but also so apathetic I have constant awful anxiety symptoms that lead me to think I’m desperately unwell. They’re forever changing and morphing. Recently it has been getting the sensation that my throat is closing even though I’m allergic to nothing (or at least nothing I’m aware of) and am eating nothing new. Sometimes it is then heart rate where it feels like it’s thinking against my chest when it’s not. Sometimes it’s profuse sweating. Other times it’s just feeling awful in general just like I’m very ill but with no distinct symptoms. Then there is the poor sleep the vision issues. I just want to know a way to stop this that isn’t taking medication. I also suffer with magical thinking as well as ocd related to food contamination. Which ties in with the throat closing. All this has Jeff me unable to work and most days are just about getting through them. I just want to get better without medication I’ve been in counselling on numerous occasions but it’s only ever been limited sessions and it’s more about coping strategies and just challenging your anxiety symptoms. Which works for some such as my agoraphobia but not others. I just want this to end but at the same time I literally don’t care why is this? that’s another frustrating part of this I have all these issues but deep down I don’t care if I get better of not I don’t really care what these horrible feelings my lead to why do I feel this way? And how can I end this?

[EverythingWillBeOK]

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle. I don't know about advice, but I have an observation for you. What you describe is what my brother has been going through for years now -- various sensations, ideas, visions, and it is "forever changing and morphing". And like you, he refuses medication. Unfortunately, from what I've learned about OCD, it often leads to a sort of psychotic state -- that's why the visions, or perceptions of contaminations, etc. are so strong...basically all these imaginary things feel "real". This is in itself a mild psychotic state. This is why antipsychotic meds are prescribed. There were prescribed to my brother too and he refused to take them. So he continues having visions and all kinds of stuff he doesn't share with us. My understanding is that OCD is connected with chemical or electrical imbalance in the brain and sometimes therapy is not enough, people need meds in order to achieve mental clarity -- thus getting the mental energy to engage in therapy and fight the OCD. My heartfelt advice for you is to seek a therapist you get along and find useful -- it seems you haven't been lucky with this? This therapist, combined temporarily with an antipsychotic medicine, should help you get a head start against the OCD. You don't have to be on meds all your life. But also think about it -- if you have pneumonia, you won't refuse meds, would you? From what I've seen in my brother, stubbornly being against OCD meds is really, really unproductive. He is still very much in the ocean of OCD and not communicating with the outside world at all Also in his book Brain Lock Jeffrey Schwartz points out that meds can act like "wings" in the beginning of therapy -- because they help you temporarily gain footing against the OCD. Then you can stop them, once you have established strategies to fight it.

[EverythingWillBeOK in reply to EverythingWillBeOK]

I also see you've posted in Depression groups. My brother is diagnosed with depression too. I don't know you, but you sound just like him...I really urge you to seek therapy combined with meds in the beginning, it will help you so much...I wish you would gather enough courage to make a change, because you deserve it. You deserve to live a life with clarity and strength, and to be yourself, not have all these intrusive thoughts occupy your day. I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart!

[LeelaGW]

Have you tried EFT (emotional freedom tapping). I know it's so powerful for PTSD, I can't help but think it may help OCD.