Re-assurance? Is it or is it not ok?
My psychiatrist says that it's "OK" to talk to others and let them re-assure me sometimes, but I'm confused. It seems from what I have heard on the board here is that it is NOT good to receive re-assurances. I understand why that could be the case, but can we talk about that?
Seeking reassurance is not allowed for OCD treatment.
It just creates more obsessions, and the cycle does not end.
It feeds the OCD by giving it power and attention.
Reassurance Seeking does not end in one setting of asking a question.
It creates more questions, more doubt, and it will keep sticking to endless doubts, by going through details in what you ask.
Thus, try to avoid asking for reassurance.
I really struggle with it on a daily basis.
It is very difficult.
I can relate through my experiences that reassurance seeking just creates more problems, rather than fixing anything.
I hope this helps.
When my goal is to help someone, I'm not sure if I'm re-assuring them, or if I'm actually telling them something helpful.
Do they have OCD and that is why you are reassuring them? Or do you have OCD and you have the urge to confess or reassure yourself. I think in the end you have to ask yourself why are you doing what you are doing. Is it because of yours or their OCD?
Also is your Psychiatrist trained in OCD? That is strange that they would tell you it is ok to seek reassurance. I am told the exact opposite by both my Psychiatrist and Therapist. Seeking reassurance is only the short time relief that our compulsions provide us. It will not help us in the long run.
I understand what you are saying. My psychiatrist is the first one that has been able to tell me about my specific OCD that I have....was not aware of ALL the different types there were....
I'm both trying to help myself with my OCD, as well as attempting to help others if I possibly can. Yes, I know reassurance is only temporary, but wow...when I am just having a HORRIBLE HORRENDOUS time with obsessions, I just don't know where to turn. I really CANNOT STAND IT!! I don't think I really had/have all the tools I need, however I'm now learning. The past therapist I had was a very good lady, but I'm just not sure she understood OCD well enough to really speak to the underlying issue, and that didn't do me any good. In the past couple of months, I have really learned alot. I'm hoping that the next time my obsessions are highly elevated, that I can turn to these new tools to help. Also, when helping others, I didn't want to say the wrong thing. I realize now that I need to be more mindful about what I say and why. Thanks for your help. 67 years old and still learning all about this.....I'll get it yet!
I hear you. I have a really difficult time not seeking reassurance or confessing as well. I do it multiple times a day but I also reward myself when I can avoid doing it. Some days are easier and some thoughts are easier. Just taking it day by day/hour by hour/minute by minute.
The problem that I experience when my OCD is really hyped up, is that when someone tells me something, I really struggle because the answer they give me just doesn't seem to want to absorb into my brain. It's very odd. It's like I THINK they said "_______" but my head won't let me get *sure* about it. I guess that is when I am seeking reassurance by asking the same question again (to my husband at the time). Sometimes he would have to tell me MANY times the same response until FINALLY my brain lets it all the way in, it gets absorbed, and I get the relief. I've never heard anyone else put it into these terms like this...... interested to what others experience in this type of thing.
I think I know what you mean. For me when I am really anxious I can not think clearly and my memory is not reliable. I watched something recently and this is actually how our brain works. When we are anxious the part of our brain that makes rational choices is shut down because we are in our fight or flight mode. If we were in real danger this would be fine but with an OCD brain we find danger in irrational thoughts and fears.
Ultimately when it comes down to it the only way to get into remission with your OCD is to resist the urge to compulse and to accept the feeling of uncertainty. Seeking reassurance is a compulsion and will only provide you with temporary relief rather than long-term recovery. Maybe find a licensed therapist who has experience with OCD and ERP and work on that.
I seek reassurance from my husband so I very much understand what you are going through. I also know that this is a huge burden on my husband and has greatly affected our relationship. It is probably the most difficult compulsion for me to push against.
Reassurance is tricky. OCD can be really sneaky so it’s sometimes difficult to tell the difference between gathering information and getting reassurance. Here is a link from the iOCDF that can help tell distinguish: iocdf.org/wp-content/upload...
I often think of it like...if I ask someone else, I’m not learning to figure out myself. And I need to be able to make my own decisions/determination vs being reliant on others for what to think/do.
Makes sense....thank you!
I think that depends. Reassurance is not really good a lot of the times, however I wouldn't say that it is forbidden.
I feel like is not good to answer the same question (or reassure) more than once, so it doesn't stimulate OCD or cause some sort of dependance.
I also think that, if you are going to reassure at some point, try stimulating the person to get their own answers. Try guiding the person and let them find and make a decision.
It's important to note that everyone is human and needs and deserves care. It's really all about balance. Reassurance might get the relief the person needs in times of crisis, but can spoil the recovery if it happens a lot.
You can give support and love and care, but the person should get the proper treatment and medication to achieve autonomy over their own condition
I'm not a professional, but, uh, if your therapist is telling you that it's okay to seek reassurance then that could be a great, big red flag. Reassurance is a compulsion, and it'll make your OCD worse. If your therapist is encouraging you to seek reassurance (and again, I'm not a professional) it's really, REALLY not good.
I see that now. It's not my therapist....it's my psychiatrist, but anyhow. Next time I go, I will talk to her about it because after reading so much more about it, I may have mis-understood her intention....she's really good so this is possible.
Either way, it's a good thing to clarify sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, some professionals aren't as well-versed in OCD as they should be. I once had a psychiatrist misdiagnose my OCD as delusion disorder. In no way, shape or form and I suggesting I know more about psychiatric illnesses than he does, but I can certainly tell you that I was misdiagnosed! I wish you best of luck in your journey - please let us all know about your victories!
Yes, I had a psychiatrist several years ago, when OCD was really heightened put me some kind of weird psychodic drug. It made me see double, and weak so that I couldn't walk more than a very short distance before having to sit down. I had trouble going around the block, plus light-headed too. That was horrible....not a good doctor in my opinion.
Ask your doc about how much he thinks is normal for reassurance. I think OCD gives us all-or-nothing, inflexible thinking. So if you slip and "ask", DON'T BEAT UP ON YOURSELF! Try to reassure yourself by posiitve self talk, like: "oh, this must be my ocd again. I'm smarter than my ocd. I saw I just locked the door so no need to recheck"
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