Post partum OCD

I’m a 32 year old father with a five month old. I believe I’m suffering from post partum OCD. I was driving my family worried about my son’s safety for hours, and my brain hasn’t been right since. I see bad things constantly, and want them shut off. Like worst nightmares constantly.

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OCD sucks. I'm sorry that you're dealing with all of these intrusive thoughts. It isn't a reflection of who you are or what you might do -- they're just thoughts and they happen to everyone. Try not to give them importance or to avoid triggering them. Just let the thoughts happen and keep going about with the things that you want to do. When you give in to avoiding the thoughts you show your brain that they are important, when they really are not.

The thoughts are horrible, but they are not you. Your brain is trying to warn you of danger, but it is over-reacting. You have to show it that you have other things to do that are more important.

[Hidden in reply to Selesnya]

Thanks a lot. I’m only just learning about this. They’ve been amped up about my son, and a prior miscarriage doesn’t help. It’s like all your worst fears come to your head, and it doesn’t help when you used to be a Corrections Officer. I have to learn to forgive myself, and that it’s a brain’s normal response. It must have always been there, just didn’t acknowledge it. Years back told my wife to get away from a cliff edge with tourists. Didn’t trust them, but for some reason I had to walk away. As if I didn’t trust my own self.

[Selesnya in reply to Hidden]

Try to learn a bunch about OCD. There are some great podcasts out there and some really great web sites. It's hard to tell how far down the OCD rabbit-hole you have gone, but don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. There are OCD specialists that can help you work through ERP and start you on the path to getting better and living more normally, doing the things that you want to do.

If you want a good introduction to OCD and treatment I would look at Is Fred in the Refrigerator by Shala Nicely and then read her book with Jon Hershfield, Everyday Mindfulness for OCD: Tips, Tricks, and Skills for Living Joyfully.

[Hidden in reply to Selesnya]

Thanks. This was more of an OCD of the mind I think. The only thing good to come of this is that I learned I love my wife, and my son more than I even knew. I went really far down the rabbit hole. As a former athlete, I’m used to having doctors straight shoot me on injuries. If they would have told me it was post partum OCD I may have been able to avoid Prozac, and forgive myself sooner. It really is a level of consciousness I wish on no one. It’s getting less, but I’m still saying, “Intrusive thought, move on.” Hopefully I can beat this and ween off meds someday, but I’ve got a family to provide for. Submersion Therapy is actually best, when you rock your son to sleep, you know you’re a good Dad.

[Hidden in reply to Selesnya]

What’s the best I can do to avoid intrusive thoughts? If I can accomplish that I’m good.

[Selesnya in reply to Hidden]

Having the intrusive thoughts die down is really a side effect of going through treatment rather than an actual goal by itself. There isn't any way to tell you brain to stop thinking certain thoughts. You can direct your attention away from them when they come up and choose not to pay attention to them, but you can't stop them from happening. You just have to learn how to let them be there and not let them bother you.

I would look here:

intrusivethoughts.org/

or here:

iocdf.org/

and check out Your Anxiety Toolkit and The OCD Stories podcasts.

[Hidden in reply to Selesnya]

Hey, could you answer my latest posted question?

[Selesnya in reply to Hidden]

You might want to check this out:

youtube.com/watch?v=9LIE-Ic...(Not working as expected?)