What are parents doing for childcare arrangements? - MPN Voice

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What are parents doing for childcare arrangements?

Timjonze profile image
13 Replies

Hi everyone.

Last month our nursery started taking children again and in September my eldest is supposed to be starting school. What are other parents doing or planning to do? Obviously shielding goes out of the window somewhat once they’re mixing at school. But I can’t keep her off forever.

There’s hardly any advice out there about this. Obviously it’s risky to send children in if you’re classed as vulnerable but I’m also concerned about her wellbeing (she’s been very sad at times about missing her friends) so am planning to send her back in July.

I asked my GP and haematologist and they both said they couldn’t advise as not enough is known about ET and Covid and how they interact so I had to balance the risks and go with what felt comfortable. For me that means sending the eldest back but wondered how everyone else with a child felt?

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Timjonze profile image
Timjonze
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13 Replies
paintbox profile image
paintbox

Hi Timjonze,

I feel very much the same anxieties about this issue. Like your little one, my daughter has really suffered anger and sorrow missing peer contact due to my need to shield. She's in Year 4 and I was concerned that she would miss out further if her year group returned to school & it was too risky for her to return.

It is frustrating that the perspective of folks such as ourselves isn't fully being considered or guided. We were trying to figure how to get her there & back; ensure she stripped clothes for washing & showered after every visit to avoid potential contamination. Her school haven't been very forthcoming with contact during lockdown so I'll need to raise this issue with them about September.

I really feel for you with your daughter due to start school in Sept. It's such an important milestone and I really feel for children of that age who have yet to get used to school.

Now that shielding is lifting Aug 1st I worry that our perspective and the risks we will still face will be a bit dismissed & hope that clear guidance will be out in place by schools / local authorities to ensure the children of shielders are able to access schooling in a way that ensure the safety of their families. Social distancing in schools is nigh on impossible, particularly for pupils your daughter's age. The Bubble approach pit in place for schools is reliant on all members of that bubble (and their families) sticking to safe social distancing so, now that so many changes to relax these measures are underway, it feels like it will be far harder for people like ourselves to minimise the number of people our children have contact with when they return to school. Let's hope the track and trace if working reliably soon!!!

All the best, Órla

Timjonze profile image
Timjonze in reply topaintbox

Agree with everything you say Órla - I’m surprised there aren’t enough people in this position for it to have become a bigger story. I can barely find out anything about it online.

Of course each case depends on our on risks - because I’m only on aspirin with fairly normal bloods I feel a bit more relaxed about it. I was hoping my haematologist would be more reassuring but she couldn’t be certain of anything at the moment (which is fair enough of course).

When my girl goes back we are not going to bother with any cleaning/distancing measures because at her age she’s going to break all the rules anyway. Just got to hope she doesn’t get it basically! But I can see why you would plan for that.

I’m sorry your daughter is finding it tough - it’s really hard for them (and us!) when they don’t get to see their little pals. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. X

paintbox profile image
paintbox in reply toTimjonze

We'll, interesting that you should metion the lack of reporting of people in a similar position as ourselves because I was contacted by a BBC journalist yesterday. She's coming to interview me with regard to reporting the perspective of shielders in the South East/West particularly in light of the recent relaxation of lockdown / social distancing rules (I'm in Bournemouth, whereabouts are you based?). I will certainly add your comments.

Like you I'm on aspirin only with stable bloods at the moment. I've got my second telephone consultation of the lockdown with my haematologist on Monday so I'll ask his advice on the school matter / implement for shielders.

I really hope your daughter can have a positive start to her school journey which enables you and your family to feel safe too. Keep me posted!

All the best to you & your daughter x

Ebot profile image
Ebot

Hi there

Of all the COVID related issues buzzing around the return to school for our youngest is the biggest for us. I just can’t see right now how this is going to work.

He is desperate to get back. And he needs to get back. However, the going back business is compounded by the fact that he is a weekly boarder at a school a two and half hour tube / train / school bus journey away. The school is overwhelmingly day pupils and of the boarders almost all are weekly. He’d be prepared to termly board in order to get back and cut the risk to us but I doubt the school will be able to offer that. (So while some ‘traditional’ all-boarding schools have returned this isn’t the case here.)

If I had a young primary school aged child I think I would be less concerned. I could walk (or drive) them to school, they would be more easily socially managed in the school environment. Hand washing etc is likely to be more rigorously enforced.

With teenagers and students frankly it’s unworkable. And it seem seems the measures being put in place at universities and colleges are a farce and at the expense of delivering a full offering. The people who need protecting by and large are the teaching and faculty staff. The students may be distanced in the class / lecture but the second they leave that space they will be (and indeed are) all over each other. Distanced Freshers Week? Yeah, right. :))))

The message from ‘on high’ seems to be kids really don’t contract COVID and if they do they don’t get sick and therefore given this they are unlikely to be the ‘super spreaders’ they usually are when it comes to disease.

COVID is going to remain. People will get it. People will die. The people who will die are more likely to be elderly / very sick and will just die a bit earlier than they might otherwise have done. (Unlike previous pandemics including the ‘Spanish flu’ which tended to impact disproportionately on younger people.)

This is the reality we will have to get use to. Children should and will return to school. Can’t disagree with theory just not sure how to manage the reality.

Sorry for the long rant. 😬

Timjonze profile image
Timjonze in reply toEbot

I think a rant is the only sane response to all this. Totally understand what you’re saying. All of us have different circumstances, ages of children, state of MPN that offers new challenges.

We don’t actually want our girl to bother trying distancing measures because she’s not even four yet and it will just confuse her - our thoughts are that if she’s going to go to nursery then they’re going to spread whatever germs in their bubble so might as well just accept that. The only time she’s met another child since lockdown they both started putting their fingers in her little brothers mouth - impossible to police it basically! Good luck with what you decide to do.

Chaz1 profile image
Chaz1

Hi, I'm concerned too about our 13 year old returning. I've seen reports that suggest they will remove social distancing in school to get pupils back & that the whole year group will form the bubble. Problem with teenagers in groups of nearly 300 is that they don't social distance. They haven't been during lockdown so they won't form a very safe bubble on the return to school. Our son is really good with understanding everything & protecting his Dad but it is a bit out of his hands when he gets back to school & the jostling around that happens in secondary school. He'd feel awful if he brought Covid home so I'm looking at the use of masks for all day use. I know it's actually more beneficial to stop the spread from someone with the virus rather than prevent someone wearing a mask contracting the virus but it's a start. Unfortunately it might mean that his class mates learn of his Dad's diagnosis, something he's been keen to avoid except for a couple of very close friends. But I'm quite concerned about the return to school but starting GCSE's in September is just too much to not send him.

Timjonze profile image
Timjonze in reply toChaz1

Yes expecting a big group of teens to stay 1m apart is rather wishful thinking. Sounds like we all have different situations but very similar dilemmas. Good luck with everything

Chaz1 profile image
Chaz1 in reply toTimjonze

You too

intothewoods profile image
intothewoods

We have an almost 3 year old so social distancing will be impossible. We’re planning to send him back to nursery in August so we can work but are feeling very worried about it. Just got to go with what feels right!

Timjonze profile image
Timjonze in reply tointothewoods

Yes. Ours (nearly four) went back today. Definitely a lot of uncertainty but I think it felt right ... sort of. She had a great time anyhow

intothewoods profile image
intothewoods in reply toTimjonze

That’s great! We’ve been letting our boy play with another local kid who’s family are being super careful (not going to shops etc) the last week or so and it’s been so nice to see them interact! Hope you enjoyed the child free day too - i’m very jealous!

Timjonze profile image
Timjonze in reply tointothewoods

Child free day sounds utopian ... sadly we still have an 11 month old to look after (lovely as he is)!

intothewoods profile image
intothewoods in reply toTimjonze

Dammit! Haha...one day...

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