Something to make you smile

[Ebot]

I hope this Pam Ayres (or maybe not by Pam Ayres - see below) poem will make you smile. It was sent by my (older!!!) cousin

Time for us girls

I'm normally a social girl

I love to meet my mates

But lately with the virus here

We can't go out the gates.

You see, we are the 'oldies' now

We need to stay inside

If they haven't seen us for a while

They'll think we've upped and died.

They'll never know the things we did

Before we got this old

There wasn't any Facebook

So not everything was told.

We may seem sweet old ladies

Who would never be uncouth

But we grew up in the 60s -

If you only knew the truth!

There was sex and drugs and rock 'n roll

The pill and miniskirts

We smoked, we drank, we partied

And were quite outrageous flirts.

Then we settled down, got married

And turned into someone's mum,

Somebody's wife, then nana,

Who on earth did we become?

We didn't mind the change of pace

Because our lives were full

But to bury us before we're dead

Is like a red rag to a bull!

So here you find me stuck inside

For 4 weeks, maybe more

I finally found myself again

Then I had to close the door!

It didnt really bother me

I'd while away the hour

I'd bake for all the family

But I've got no flaming flour!

Now Netflix is just wonderful

I like a gutsy thriller

I'm swooning over Idris

Or some random sexy killer.

At least I've got a stash of booze

For when I'm being idle

There's wine and whiskey, even gin

If I'm feeling suicidal!

So let's all drink to lockdown

To recovery and health

And hope this awful virus

Doesn't decimate our wealth.

We'll all get through the crisis

And be back to join our mates

Just hoping I'm not far too wide

To fit through the flaming gates!

[piggie50]

Loved it Ebot, particularly the last two lines! My day seems to revolve around meal times 😋 but, as my daughter said, when she dropped an Easter egg off for me yesterday, if we all come out of it a stone overweight, at least we are all still alive.

I hope you are all keeping safe and well.

Judy xx

[Ebot in reply to piggie50]

We’re good in our little bubble thanks. Shopping just delivered. Have spent past hour and a half putting gloves on, taking gloves off, washing my hands again and again .... and again .... and disinfecting the disinfectant. See my message below for an extra laugh on this post.

[Aime]

Absolutely spot on!! Aime xx😻😻😻😻

[Ebot in reply to Aime]

👍🏻 See below for the 🤣 coda to this post .....

[Inca]

Great Ebot,must admit at the moment I think back to those great days of youth ......Maybe it's normal any way as we become oldies.good poem to cheer.!!!

[Ebot in reply to Inca]

Was trying to recall Pam Ayres distinctive tones when I read it. 😁

[Inca in reply to Ebot]

Yes,me too,I did see her on some chat show or other recently,hasn't changed much,is it a Lincolnshire accent she has ?

[Ebot in reply to Inca]

Oddly, apparently she was born in Berkshire and now lives in the Cotswolds.

[Inca in reply to Ebot]

That's where all the A listers,Authors,T V stars go to live !!!!

Good for me. I sell in Gallery there ,normal times that is!!

[Ebot]

OK. So I just noticed the above has been ‘related’ tagged ........ ‘contraception’????? 🤣🤣🤣

Boy, have those algorithms missed the mark. 🤣🤣🤣

[Cja1956]

Haha. So true.

[mhos61]

Thanks, very enjoyable!

[wotan10]

Thank you..

Stay resilient, be kind, be thankful happy days.

[Lorrmac]

Brilliant Ebot,

Made me smile to. Thanks

[Mostew]

Great poem , thanks . I’m sending it to several people ...

happy Easter everyone

[champ30]

Fabulous!!

[lizzziep]

Love it 😁

[JediReject]

Hi Ebot . . . Great poem by Pam . . ,Reminds me of a strange tale , just after the books 50 shades of grey were written I penned a verse called 50 shades of grey hair. I passed a copy to my wife's nephew I think around 2012/13. Unbeknown to me he must have put it on Facebook or something. I found out because I saw it posted last year attributed to guess who . . Pam Ayres. I was flattered.

Sorting through some papers out of lockdown boredom I found my original copy. I Googled '50 shades of grey hair by Pam Ayres' and it appeared in a number of publications ! But in one it said the truth behind the poem in which it showed Pams twitter feed where she denied it was her work. Fair play.

Somehow I managed to miss all the coverage it's had , , I could of been famous. . . Well for 15 minutes.

Happy Easter - Chris

[CarolineDavies in reply to JediReject]

I’m off to google it, well done tho!

[JediReject in reply to CarolineDavies]

The versions have been tweaked a bit as it's been passed on but the main body is there. . .

[Ebot in reply to JediReject]

I think you should now post it!

[CarolineDavies in reply to Ebot]

It’s very funny, I found it ‘Woman & Home’, did they get your name right? Seems a shame it’s not known as your work!

[JediReject in reply to CarolineDavies]

No it was thought to be attributed to a John Summers. Funnily enough we know someone by that name as we used to live a few doors away and even now 2 streets away and my his wife and mine are friends. But I can't see him posting it.

I'll never know but it seems to have a very wide circulation and I'm glad if it amused.

I have written much verse but seemed to lose my mojo for it in the last couple years.

Maybe I'll pick my quill up again. . . Chris

[JediReject]

I've just seen Pams twitter feed and I think she's denied penning this one too !! You gotta admire her honesty. . ,

[Ebot in reply to JediReject]

Oh well! Gave us a laugh all the same!

[Ebot in reply to JediReject]

Interesting the version I got sent was marked by Pam ‘Eyres’. It was sent by someone who clearly thought it was written by thePam ‘Ayres’. I corrected it. So now I’m wondering whether or not it was originally sent as a spoof by ‘Eyres’. Or if it just got mangled en route.

And we thought Coronovirus misinformation and authenticity was an issue. 🤣🤣🤣

[JediReject in reply to Ebot]

Yes , , whatever , its given some cheer. There's nowt much to smile about so it's good to get a little light relief here and there. , thanks for brightening my day . . .

[hunter5582]

Even us old guys gotta love this one. Nice bit of amusement in challenging times. If only the young ones knew just how wild and crazy we really were back then, Not the Granny and Gramps they think they know. Thanks for posting the poem.

[trotty100]

Loved it, take up the pen,Thanks

Margaret