Some days are just hard

So I have had a roller coaster time with infertility. Everyone seems to be dropping pregnancies like it's as easy as breathingm just found out my best friend is expecting her 3rd child by accident!! I am happy for her .... But also I feel stabbed in the heart. It hurts from my chest and radiates outwards. My throat, back, shoulders and head hurts. Pain radiates behind my ears. My wrists itch it's the most intense feeling. Yet I feel guilty. My best friend is expecting. I have tears rolling down my face. I will never know what that will feel like...

[_MrsC]

It is incredibly tough. Let your feelings out. There is no judgement here. You are not sad because she is expecting; you are sad that you aren’t. To feel your own pain is absolutely ok. I’m so sorry for your pain. I can only tell you that in time it does become more bearable. It never disappears but there comes a time when you can breathe again and the tension inside loosens. I hope this happens for you this year and gives you some freedom from the hurt. xxx

[Hidden in reply to _MrsC]

Thanks for the kind words. I really can't wait for the knot to go. It's sufficating. Sorry its been a time since the post.

[missbrightside]

I get it too and am sorry you are having to go through this. Life is certainly unfair. Go easy on yourself, as everything you are feeling is understandable and to be expected. I too am in the midst of a lot of hurt and grief, and have been surprised by how physically painful it can be. You are to be admired for just putting one foot in front of another, but unfortunately most people don't realise it, as the grief and pain is invisible to those who haven't experienced it. Please know that you are not alone, and feel free to PM me if you need to talk x

[Hidden in reply to missbrightside]

Thanks for your kind words. Sorry its been a while. I have never shared these feelings in a public space before. I just feel lost. I need to feel joy in my heart.