Has anyone figured out how to manage depression alone?

[sasays]

I don't expect anyone to say yes to this but on the off-chance, any help is welcomed

[Hidden]

Sorry its a no from me. I cant cope without Anti Depressants.

Jackie

[Hidden]

Depression is isolating so do what ever you need to stay in a good place.

[sasays]

Sorry, i mean more 'how do you cope without the support of the people around you', either because there isnt anyone, you dont want to tell them, or you have told them and they dont care enough.

I'm on ADs and two weeks into therapy but my depression stems for my interactions with people thoughout my life and the focus of getting better is to keep communicating, its not that easy without the right people in your life.

Was wondering if anyone had any good 'self help' tips x

[Hidden]

Hi

Although I think it is possible to cope with depression alone I think that doing so can often involve shutting off from feelings. We all need support especially when we feel low, but coming onto this website is a way of turning to people. There are other people around who are not part of your family and are likely to understand. Mind is a great organisation for support as people who contact the organisation and make it up have all experienced mental health problems of one kind or another.

Self-help is very possible, mostly by doing all the things that are on any website dealing with depression, for example the Mind one or the NHS choices one - diet, exercise, joining activities, etc. There isn't any magic, just the things that help one to feel better in life. Sorry.

Suexx

[jsk82]

I spend alot of time on my own and im finding it very difficult i dont like being around people at times I just want to be by self even tho I know it will be a long day im trying to talk to people like myself to see if it helps

[Hidden in reply to jsk82]

Yes, I can identify with that, it is easier to be alone when depressed, the problem is that being isolated increases depression for most people in the longer term, it takes either a strong person or someone very cut off from neediness to remain happy without much contact with people. What about being with people in a role such as being a volunteer with Mind or doing some task for people on a voluntary basis then you would be around people but only have to interact as and when you want to.

[Hidden]

No sasays I don't think true depression can be managed alone!

Bev x

[sasays]

Ive actually started doing some voluntary work with animals once a week so i agree with you there Sue. It was easier for me to work with animals as my interactoin with them there is mandatory, and the humans are optional! Sounds awful, but i mean i have a distraction if i feel uncomfortable, which i often do around new people these days, but also means im still in an environment with other people when i feel up to it, although we dont chat much i do get a tiny sense of achivement that i havnt shut myself away that day. Plus i like the feeling that i might actually be of use to someone, or something, which i dont often feel at the moment, or ever really. So i guess thats a positive thing.

Its just getting back to real life that im finding tricky. Ive tried to reach out to people but they're just not interested. Ive always had a few problems getting them to care any, people have come in and out of my life and asked why i put so much time into relationships with people that dont care but i dont have a choice, theyre the only people i have, and all the others that come along and show me how different it could be end up completely screwing me over. I dont need to be a social godess, but just one person somewhere in the world that might ever give me a passing thought would be really nice.

Well i guess im coming to you guys and this helps. Thanks for all the responses xx

[mumma]

Im not physically alone but I am alone as I dont have people that realise how sad I am depressed etc . I just dont seem to connect with people anymore I think I find someone then somehow manage to get it all wrong or end up pushing folk away

[Hidden in reply to mumma]

Hi, that sounds sad, if people don't realise how sad you are they can't help you. How about telling them or if they don't feel safe to talking with someone else about how you feel? You are telling us here and you haven't pushed us away yet, even if you do push us away we will still be here! I guess that's the experience you need, to be able to push people away but find they're still there to go back to. Suexx

[annie87]

Hi you can not get through depression alone you need to speak to a friend, gp etc help is out there. Don't be ashamed you have depression alot of people have it the 1st step to getting better is talking to someone and a weight will be lifted from your shoulders. All the best..

[annie87]

Hi you can not get through depression alone you need to speak to a friend, gp etc help is out there. Don't be ashamed you have depression alot of people have it the 1st step to getting better is talking to someone and a weight will be lifted from your shoulders. All the best..

[leogem]

iam on my own and not like being around people,but i have a great dog who helps me out a lot and with out him then i dont want to be here.

so pet are a great help ,but saying that getting outside is the best thing you can do.

even if its in your own garden, or just go for a walk it helps me lots and it make you feel better for it, i love being out side as long as its away from everyone esle.

but i do feel that it is better if you can find a friend or someone you can have a cuppa with and a chat

[Hidden in reply to leogem]

Hi, yes I agree with you that getting outside helps even just into the garden, it's an alive world whereas staying within our own four walls means staying in a lifeless world when we're depressed. Good for you for getting out and about, is it possible to find a friend? I know it's not easy but just doing something, anything, with people around can slowly lead to friendships. What about offering to walk someone else's dog as well as your own, then you would meet the owners without having to actually socialise, that sort of way in often helps, when it's focussed around a task. Volunteer work is good too, maybe helping out in a community garden or somewhere like that, it depends on interests. I agree it's always better to find someone to meet up with now and then, someone it feels easy to be with. Suexx

[Photogeek]

HI everyone, I live alone too, and I don't have much support from my family. Sometimes I feel alone, but I try and go out and about, even if its to a Cafe for a coffee. Could you join a support group in your locality. I go out to an Art class once a week, I love it, even though I have to push myself to go. We forget how good things can be. I also invite one or two friends around for something to eat. I like to cook and everyone appreciates a nice meal. So sorry for rambling on, but being alone is difficult when your Depressed, you just have to work around it. Keep smiling and chat to people when you are out and about.

Having a cat to look after really helps me too.

[sasays in reply to Photogeek]

Hi PG, i defnitely agree on the animal thing, i volunteer at an animal shelter now once a week which i really really enjoy, its so therapeutic for me, i feel like i get to make a difference to something and it gets me out of the house for the day and breaks up the weekend. Its actually over an hour away but i think id cross the channel if i needed to! Although i did hear about our probationary period (new starters) coming to an end soon and i didnt even know we had one! Im hoping they are picking out the useless rather than keeping in the 'networkers', im a volunteer, they wont have seen much of me as i'll be snuggling with the dogs! Hopefully they have seen that im working hard, i would be absolutely devestated if they didnt keep me on, i might have to stage a one person stand-in. Im trying my best to manage my life within the peramiters to which i am comfortable, ie a social event for me would be cinema, or a casual low-key dinner with two close friends if im feeling up to it, rather than an actual night out or an actual gathering of people.

Art class sounds great, i took Art at school on the misinformation that everyone is creative (true) and has potential (not true), i spent weeks in with the headmistress in tears begging for her to let me drop it as i was completely unable to draw or paint (which is all we did) ...I still don't know what 'mixed media' is! I think i was expecting something more grand, claywork, stencils, screen printing but no. Does anyone know if schools cover these things these days? I do hope so.

I do Step class once a week now ive finally got some weight back and im enoying that. I was going to start LBT too but realised it was Valentines day so i dont plan on going anywhere other than to bed to watch rubbish TV and eat... everything.

Oh i wished i liked to cook, i genuely would rather live off cereal and toast than ever have to cook anything. Even a bacon sandwich is pushing it. Wish i enjoyed it more, its not really socially acceptable to be as anti-cooking as i am, i think its because i like my proper meals so they would require more effort than i could ever muster. And why bother putting all that time and money into a meal for one which probably isnt going to turn out all that well. Ho hum, Sorry x

How do people keep there messages so short!? I try my best and fail every time, sorry!

[sasays in reply to sasays]

... Just got an email to say i passed my probationary peroid and get my 'uniform' next week, woohoo!

[Hidden in reply to sasays]

Great, well done!

[Hidden in reply to Photogeek]

I agree with all you write, it does take a lot of work to make yourself join in things but it is worth it once you find some reward. I have begun going to the gym to get a bit healthier as I tend to be sedentary, but find at the gym that I always have a chat with one or two people and that's an additional benefit. Sue

[daffodils]

well done...I hate going out, like you cinema or a meal with a few friends, but im living in a town where I only know my elderly neighbours and one lady from school whos from the area and is always out with family. I love my job and when I am at work that keeps me so busy and its full on. I work all day everyday with people, some who self harm, depressed, mental problems or just down right abusive and threatening, but I thrieve on it. I only went back to work in January after five weeks off and doing so well, having this week off probably wasn't the best idea as its dragging and i'm struggling again. Theres so many staff I work with that have been in the same situation as me, some I was so surprised about but they are good to talk to, others don't get depression and see it as an excuse. there the ones im happy to have a good argument with lol. anyway in uniform next week brilliant and well done to you

[redroseart]

hello i love animals and would love to volunteer but dont know how to go about it. recently lost a beautiful dog who i loved alot and miss alot.

[sasays]

hi redroseart, im so sorry for your loss, I cant imagine what its like without him/her around, they can provide so much support x

if you look on some charity websites they will advertise if they are looking for volunteers and/or foster carers. You can also sign up to The Cinnamon Trust - the national charity for elderly and terminally ill people and their pets (ie you walk/care for/foster their pets during hospitals stays etc and there is one to foster for those who's belong to families suffering from domestic abuse. You'll find quite a lot of info online, you can even do puppy socialising for hearing dogs.

Wishing you all the best x

[sasays]

Cinammon Trust - termporarily walk and/or care for pets whos owners may be elderly or terminally ill

cinnamon.org.uk/cinnamon-tr...

Borrow My Doggy - does what it says on the tin

borrowmydoggy.com/sign-up

Pet Retreat - foster pets from homes suffering from domestic abuse

rspca.org.uk/allaboutanimal...

You can also register for dog fostering at many of the well known charities such as Battersea and Dogs Trust x