ADHD or Bipolar

[north_oxford]

Anxiety and rumination causing havoc again and I feel like I am going mad. I feel that sometimes my good and honest intentions go against me. I feel like I have been suffering from some sort of mental disorder and specifically bipolar disorder and or ADHD. My lack of confidence has definitely been part of life since childhood I am probably aware of it more than anyone else. Now on reflection I feel that I may sometimes change my personality to fit a particular situation, is this bipolar disorder? and or ADHD. I am still constantly worrying about work and being the best I can be, maybe I should focus more on being the version of myself rather than spending so much effort trying to be someone I am not as this in turn causes more anxiety and I then make irrational decisions which are innocent but may be seen by outsiders as being intentional. I have made an occupational health referral, well I have emailed them twice now and I think I need to ask for help now.

Self doubt plays a massive part on my life especially around my work life. Have I done everything that’s required of me , have I completed my job to the best of my ability is there more I could have done , these are questions which constantly come to my mind. I feel guilty and sad that I may have hurt people unintentionally , however with a confused state of mind and severe anxiety I didn’t see any other way. I know Humans make mistakes, but then why do I give myself a hard time. I really don’t want to be seen as incompetent in my job or personal life I need to be strong for my colleagues and family. I also feel that as soon as I sometimes step foot outside the home I become a different person. I feel that I occasionally struggle to hold and maintain a conversation regardless of them being family, friends or in a work setting. This in turn distracts me and therefore I am not focussed on the task in hand and this in turn causes panic and further stress.

Any guidance and help is greatly appreciated.

[hannah451]

My daughter has ADHD and what you describe sounds exactly like her. She has a job where she oversees other people but she says she feels disorganised. Look after yourself. You are doing all you can.

[DaffyDaisy]

ADHD and bipolar disorder present so similarly that it can be difficult to tell which one you have. My therapist suggested it can take months to verify. She recommended I track my moods with an app called Daylio.

In the mean time, I'm realizing some of the things I do actually do lean toward the bipolar side of things. So I asked her if you can have both ADHD and bipolar, which she responded to in the affirmative. She knows I have ADHD (scored off the charts on that one), but she's still determining whether bipolar plays a role. The big tell with bipolar is extreme highs and extreme lows. You know you struggle with anxiety and self confidence issues. Do you also struggle with severe depression? Feeling worthless? On the flip side, have you ever thought, "I'm tha man!" Jumping between extremely high confidence and low confidence is an indicator bipolar might be the case, or at least, that's what she tells me. And these jumps last – they don't range from minute to minute or day to day. They go on for days, weeks, months... You'll feel like a total badass for a solid two weeks, then it's like the bottom falls out and you're afraid you're going to get fired for being such an idiot. I don't think I realized how often I do that until having it actually happen. I'd been so low for so long that I didn't realize that I really do jump to the opposite end of that emotional spectrum for long spans at a time. So while anxiety and feelings of worthlessness do go hand-in-hand with both, I think it's more about jumping between those two opposing trains of though for relatively long spans of time. Of course, I don't know much. I'm just parroting what my therapist told me. Hope things look up for you soon. I know how it feels to feel like you're either never enough or too damn much.