Me and my partner had an argument words exchanged and he said he is just here for the kids. Did he mean it or just said it out of anger?

[Froggy1999]

Me and my partner had an argument words exchanged and he said he is just here for the kids. Did he mean it or just said it out of anger?

[Dolphin14]

I think you have to ask him that question.

[Froggy1999 in reply to Dolphin14]

Yes when he stops giving me the silent treatment then I will

[Dolphin14 in reply to Froggy1999]

Sounds good

[Hidden]

Depends what the rest of the argument was about .

[Froggy1999 in reply to Hidden]

Lack of intamacy in the relationship only seems too feel one sided recently

[kenster1]

hi things get said in the heat of the moment give it time talk it over rationally and see how it goes.

[Froggy1999 in reply to kenster1]

Thanks just keeping our distance from one another just now he is in the other room. That's the way he goes he avoids 🙈

[kenster1 in reply to Froggy1999]

could be the best thing just to defuse the situation.

[Froggy1999]

He is stubborn at times and the silent treatment kills me but all I have too do is wait and see if things turn in a different direction..I don't want somebody being with me just because of our kids though. I would rather be on my own than have that...

[Hidden]

It is hard to understand the context of your exchange. Sometimes it may have been set in anger ? However you may need to discuss all with your husband when everything calms down.

How do you feel, this sort of row is said in anger, or you may have marriage concerns.

Silence can be used as a weapon, consider its implications for you and your children. Remember in the UK the Children are generally left with the Mother

BOB

[Froggy1999 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks the argument is lack of intamacy on my part feel it is one sided and he never makes an effort and I had too say something because it's frustrating.

[Hidden in reply to Froggy1999]

Do you feel He has lost His Pride, something like this may be caused by many things. You need to talk and discover how He feels and ask if He has something on His Mind.

Consider there may be problems on both sides, would some changes help you both.

Remember it takes two to Tango

BOB

[Froggy1999 in reply to Hidden]

He is 52+ I am coming up for 44 do know if he is going throught the change of life it's hard too tell.

[Hidden in reply to Froggy1999]

I am sixty nine and have passed to change of life, however remember both men and women go through the above, something to consider ?

I went through above in my mid fifties/sixties, Have a serious chat, activities can be changed accordingly. talk to your GP there are medications out there on prescription or over counter.

BOB

BOB

[Froggy1999 in reply to Hidden]

Ok thanks will try

[Froggy1999 in reply to Hidden]

He is very stressed at work as well

[Hidden in reply to Froggy1999]

This is how I was at that time, we need to accept how our bodies do change as we get older. Over the last twelve months I have been quite restless at home, not helped by my Disability.

If He is having worries and concerns at work that may be also cause problems in the evening and as He gets ready for work.

All I can do is advise you both to have a evening to yourselves and talk things out. He most probably understands in His own heart something is wrong and that could make Him more concerned and worried how He is presenting himself to you

BOB

[Dolphin14 in reply to Froggy1999]

Work stress can be a huge factor. That magnifies even the smallest issue.

[Froggy1999 in reply to Hidden]

isn't it terrible that you don't appreciate what I'm doing for the family. All that you're doing is watching your phone to see if I'm on WhatsApp you interested in is your selfish self.

Just leave me alone to deal with my problems.

You're really becoming a burden on my life.

Bob my partner sent this too me tell me your honest opinion on his message.

[Hidden in reply to Froggy1999]

Given the quote He sounds depressed and unable to control His feelings. Yes it all sounds frantic and unreasonable.

It may be He needs time to come to terms with His feelings and that in a way is no help to you and your feelings.

Could you try and arrange an appointment with a Marriage Guidance Charity and talk this out. Both my Wife and I went through something similar. Although now it is sorted. We have understood the value of a relationship over the long term and it would have been a shame to walk away from each other

Your Doctor can advise on various ways that may help. If the problem is not addressed it may end up as a Separation and if He cannot bend I feel sorry for you.

Relationships do get testy in Middle age, you are very hurt and it sounds like your other half is near defeated in His attitude to your family concerns.

Relationships do change as we get older, we suffer regrets of a part of life missed as well, that can lead to a sad ending, that seems to be happening more and more as we live longer than past generations, we expect more and we end up grieving the loss of our younger years.

Let Him stew and see what happens. My Wife is sixty three this year and a form of truce has settled in, We love each others company and travel a great deal in the UK.

You need to talk if not, I cannot imagine how you will both get on through future retirement and do things you wished you could do when you were younger.

BOB

[Froggy1999 in reply to Hidden]

Sorry reading that brought a tear too my eye..it sounds like he has given up on our relationship and is just their for our children..he said too me that the kids will stay with him as he is more financially stable and am not which it hurts for him too say that.i would never leave without my kids.

[Hidden in reply to Froggy1999]

Can you not take legal advice on who looks after the Children. It would be unfortunate if He used them as a tool against you. He sounds so very unsettled at this time

BOB

[Froggy1999 in reply to Hidden]

I did went for legal advice it would be the mother who has more advantage. Things have settled but will wait and see if their is a relapse.

[Buhbs]

Now you know very well you'll have to ask him that yourself and honestly if he doesnt budge (out of silence) write him a letter either saying how you feel after that argument and/or asking him said question if not both and hand that to him or place it where he's sure to see jt. Nah..just hand it in person and see what will happen. We cant sit in silence for too long now.. If you got to meditate before this conversation go ahead and do so if need be. Just mentally prepare yourself in case its the other and I hope its not that for you really.💜

"We all need to communicate, we dont have time for complications" song Communication by ph1(its korean/English listen to it if u want🤗)

[Afrohair]

Ask him