Police came round : In 2012 a police... - Mental Health Sup...

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Police came round

Starlight_ftm profile image

In 2012 a police officer R-ed me and was very controlling and stalked me when I wasn’t there.

In 2016 the police found out and wanted me to press charges but i was very unwell in mental health.

Yesterday police came to see me to ask if I will again, I gave them my old iPhone to get texts and voicemails off where he admits to a lot of the hundreds messages a day happened!

My husband thinks I should go for it and get closure, my family can’t cope with big stuff and even forgot overnight police coming to talk to me, husband is in America at moment so I’m living with parents.

I spoke to psychologist today and cried a lot over the phone while holding my 3 month old baby!

Everything is a mess. Any advice or support welcomed as I feel so sick.

10 Replies

Right now, you can't see the road, for the storm that you are weathering...but, you are doing everything right...you are correcting a wrong that was done to you, in the past...and you are preventing future wrongs that could happen to someone else. I can't imagine how you must feel...but, I can tell you how strong you are, that you are moving ahead, anyway, even though the pain is there.

Two of my friends were where you are, right now.

It's wise of you to be cautious, but I keep hearing what they told me of their past experiences.

One forged ahead, even though her "closest" loved-ones were mortified that "someone might find out"...all she knew was that she couldn't learn to get used to what had happened to her, and if she could do anything to unseat that domination over her, she was going for it...

My other friend took a while to put in her report, but when she had a choice to press charges, she didn't accept, right away...she was just too haunted by what had happened. Later, she did, when she learned that there had been another victim to this individual's machinations. It took her a while to reconcile everything, but she got through it with private counseling and a cooperative precinct... We all know that not all precincts are so willing to help convict one of their own...but when they re-extended the olive branch to her, she, too, knew that something had to change for the better.

Your tears of release from this toxic experience are necessary. Your future belongs to you. No one can--or, should--drive the truck of your own life, but you. Take all of the help to keep it that way, whenever you can...sometimes, our own nearest-and-dearest are not always able to cope with the things that happen to others...they just aren't ready to "receive" those sorts of tidings...

No one gave you a choice, here...you are forging ahead, because of your love for your family and for yourself. I wish you every prayer and triumph, in your success...please do keep us posted on how things go--blessings to you and yours!

Wow thank you so much. Cried a lot with psychologist today and spoke with police again saying I will do my best to go through with it. He is away for a couple of weeks so gives me time to settle self. Just had call from charity who can help too. Feels surreal people are listening to me as normally it’s laughed at or put down, the police are keen to get him even though he is/was police officer.

They have my phone with evidence so will see how goes I guess. Appreciate your comment. I just don’t think I can say no to going ahead with this.... I just have so much fear.


You are doing what is best for you and others...I admire you, so much! I know that you will be successful and have the guidance that you need--keep us posted and let us know how things go!

Stay strong starlight you're in mg prayers xx

Starlight_ftm profile image
Starlight_ftm in reply to Alex79

Thank you so much Alex. I think I’m going to go forward with this. Very scared though x

Alex79 profile image
Alex79 in reply to Starlight_ftm

Good luck! If you ever need help or guidance we are all here to help xx

Starlight_ftm profile image
Starlight_ftm in reply to Alex79

Wow thank you :) just unsure right now but will see how goes! Police keen to get him to be honest! Hope you’re ok

Alex79 profile image
Alex79 in reply to Starlight_ftm

I'm fine at the minute thank you. My dad was a police officer and trust me there is nothing more they hate than a bent cop. You're in good hands 😁xx

Starlight_ftm profile image
Starlight_ftm in reply to Alex79

I really get that impression, he even said to me “just because he is a policeman we don’t owe him favours, he ruined that by what he did to you” and they all so keen to take the case on. I just wish I knew what to do :) thanks for your reply and glad you’re fine at the moment x

Honestly this is my worst fear so I am so sorry it happened to you, and the thing with these situations is you need to decide what’s best for you and getting closure for you, if you ever just need someone to randomly message and talk with I’m here for you, whether to vent about it, vent about literally anything but it, to send you funny videos, or to just chit chat and get to know each other, I’m here for you, lots of love

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