WHAT THE ACTUAL FUDGE IS WRONG WITH ME? I think I’m depressed *** TRIGGER WARNING***

[Fleurpetals]

Hi I think I have depression but I don’t know if I’m over reacting, I’ve had multiple thoughts about sucided it’s to the point where I think about it daily. I’ve even attempted it. I’m always tired and angry and irritated with everyone, but the part I don’t understand is that I’ll get in certain moods where I feel unstoppable and have high self confidence that mood will last about a couple hours and then sink back down to me feeling like 💩 poo and worthless. I’ve recently started bingeing, purging, starving, and even self harm and it’s addictive but Im currently trying to stop.

What I also don’t understand is that this “depression” will go away for a couple weeks and even months. During those months I feel great I do good in school and I actually get good grades and make lots of friends. And when the “depression” comes back I feel terrible and extremely lazy like I don’t want to do anything, I start to feel distant from my family and friends, even my teachers will start to notice.

Once my anxiety blew up and I broke down crying and didn’t stop for about two hours (during school). I thought I had seasonal depression but my “depression” comes back a random times. Sometime it’ll last for weeks and even months.

It’s been about three or four months since the “depression phase” has started and I don’t know how to stop it. Sometimes I’ll get angry at everything even puppies and rainbows. I so sad because I keep telling my siblings I hate them and I wish they didn’t exist, I’m basically bullying them and I don’t know how to stop IM SICK OF PRETENDING LIKE IM OKAY IM SICK OF WEARING A FAKE SMILE AND MASK.

AM I CRAZY, BI POLAR, DEPRESSED OR AM I JUST OVERTHINKING. I’m really confused.

[Stilltrying_]

You need to see a physician, a doctor, a GP. It could be bipolar or the milder form of that or it may not be, but we can't diagnose on here as we don't know you but I think it would help you to get a diagnosis for what you are experiencing.

Gemma x

[Hidden]

You need to talk to your Family Doctor. Make an appointment and write down a list of your fears and concerns, your Doctor will consider the best way to proceed.

You need a diagnosis as Gemma says. Then they can recommend a treatment pathway for you

BOB

[hypercat54]

Hi rather than guessing what is wrong you must go to the doctor and seek a medical diagnosis and help. No one on here can diagnose you I'm afraid.

Oh not having a go but can you amend the er... flowery language please as it is not allowed on the forum. Thank you. x

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi there,

I just wanted to add my support to what the folks have already said here, that this is not the place to get a diagnosis and we are no substitute for professional medical advice. You need to see your doctors and discuss this thoroughly with them and ask for a referral to your local mental health team. The fact too, that you have mentioned that you have felt suicidal and attempted suicide at some point, puts you in at high risk, and I would urge you to get help asap. Check out our Pinned Posts section and keep handy the International Crisis Support Helplines:shawmindfoundation.org/supp...

As a new member, may I remind you to read through the T&C's and Community Guidelines, which you should have read before joining HU. Often folks forget to, and it's important to be aware of the limitations of using a public forum such as this, as anything you share could be copied and reposted on the world wide web!! Also, this is an anonymous online forum and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. The views shared here are personal and well-meaning, but cannot be taken as definitive medical advice. However, it's good for us all to think about the content of our posts, and yes, hypercat is correct, the use of bad language is not acceptable here, so well done for editing your post title! We need to respect each other and remember that many are feeling as vulnerable as you. So if you are going to allude or directly mention self-harm or suicidal thoughts, that you also put a ** Trigger Warning** in your post title, to warn other users to not to read your post if they're having a difficult time at the moment. I would have added this for you on this occasion, but your title is long and there are not enough characters left.

Stay safe and take care,

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse