Mental health; My story so far

[Clarebear86]

Hi my name is Claire and I have found myself in a bit of a predicament. Me and my husband have been having a number of issues. I had my suspicions about him cheating on me & then had them later confirmed. He arranged to meet a girl who he met one night in a nightclub at a premier inn. Events followed where he was sorry and devastated and didn’t want to lose me to him then admitting he didn’t know if being me was good enough and whether we should go out seperate ways. This has been detrimental to my mental health. My whole world was and still is to some extent shattered. He has since told me that he now wants this to work and wants to be with me. My head has been in overdrive and can’t accept this given everything that has gone on. This whole situation has resulted in a lot of secrets being told. My husband thought I suffered from depression when I broke down in front of him weeks before the event admitting I was lonely and felt alone. I had also had regular suicidal thoughts which I kept to myself and rationalised them by telling myself they were normal and they will pass, which they did. Every now and again I would think to myself how worthless I was and wonder whether everyone would be better off without me and again I kept this to myself. I’m now as of this week taking citalopram in an effort to restore my mental health.

[puddlediver]

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best