Hi an introduction..

[tonywynn]

hi all, um, not sure quite what to put, names Tony, um guess why I'm here's a good place to start, quite often I get this kinda thought In my head "everything and everyone can just f*** off" and it comes around often and without much (if any) provocation (at least non that I'm fully aware of) I feel nervous at the thought of even going to shop that's less than 5 minutes away, if I venture out too far often I can get paranoid that people are watching me, and/or following me. This is soon accompanied by the feeling I need to be sick (although I don't have to be out for that, that one can sometimes hit when I'm sat at home, thinking about future interactions as I seem to constantly go for the most absurd and most negative possibilities in the "what if.." Category.) panic attacks are another of the delights that I have to put up with, not had many, but I guess with that sort of thing, how many is an acceptable number to have to deal with? I sometimes break down in tears with this sudden feeling of "what's the point in anything anymore" I have attempted suicide on a couple of occaisons. A few people know about a couple of them (circumstance led them to discover this information, no one knows the actual number of times I have attempted it, terrified of telling anyone for a number of reasons.)

[Hidden]

Hiya Tony, welcome to the community.

Firstly, sorry to hear that things are so rough for you. How long would you say you've been experiencing these things?

You alluded that there might not be, but is there anyone close to you that can talk to about how you're feeling? Friends? Family?

Have you spoken to any GP or counsellor? It sounds as though you may well need help with what you're going through, and there is absolutely no harm or weakness to that whatsoever. We all need help at some point during our lives, in whatever form

[chloe40]

Hi there tonywynn

Welcome to our Community.

Just wanted to add this information for you to keep to hand and read when you can.

shawmindfoundation.org/supp...

and

shawmindfoundation.org/supp...

Warm wishes

Chloe

[Olderal]

Hello Tonywynn, to start in the middle, none is the total of panic attacks you ought to deal with. Every one of course can have a panic attack, even James Bond must have been tempted when he was defusing the bomb with only two seconds left on the timer. The clue is in the word "tempted" . Bond knew that if he gave in to one he would have been mince meat. Most of us know that when a panic situation arises a panic attack is going to make things worse and we don't have one. It might take a few deep breaths and telling ourselves to calm down but the implication is that in the main they can be controlled . OK you might have to do a bit of self help reading about avoiding panic attacks but the techniques to deal with them are available to all of us, and there are plenty of books on the subject which I believe contain techniques that work.

Everything and everyone can just f*** off. Really? I would practice putting that thought out of your head. I don't think you would like living in a world where every one thought that ( I certainly would n't) and commonsense ought to tell you that if practically every one else does n't think that, its not good enough for you to think it. Enough said.

I don't feel I'm important enough for anyone to be watching me or following me , and neither should you. As for what's the point no philosopher , religious leader ,wise man or scientist has ever come up with a satisfactory answer to that one. Does there have to be a point ? Maybe making ourselves as happy as possible provided it does n't make anyone else unhappy would be a good starting point. Attempted suicide is an awful long way away from that as a starting point.

I have given some rather glib answers to the problems you list and I do realise they are not an answer. They do maybe suggest the way you ought to be trying to think . I know we can't totally control the thoughts we have but we do have some control, and on the occasions you have some of these thoughts we can at least tell ourselves not to listen to that rubbish. My advice would be to see a GP asap if you have have n't done so already and ask for referral for counselling. That probably won't be available immediately and the quality of counsellors varies. Don't expect one to know the answer to "Whats the point?".

You certainly ought to be seeing someone who can help and if your GP does n't know of the suicide attempts you should certainly make them aware (its all confidential just like this forum and you've been able to admit it on here ) , and as counsellors and the medical help you need are all over stretched it should make sure you get the help you need quickly. That help should make you feel a bit happier and will be a start on maybe the point of it all.

Olderal