What to do next?

I'm suffering from depression and anxiety which I'm finding very difficult. I've had depression in the past but this is now different and now my husband has left me and It makes me feel even worse that he is in love with a younger woman and me and him have been together 18 years and married nearly 10 years come august. I feel terrible and I'm only 32 and think why?ami such a bad person?


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8 Replies

  • Since you were together with him since age 14, ...and if he were the same (or close to) the same age, maybe some of the problem was that you (or he) simply never allowed yourselves the freedom to have different relationships, have new experiences, and simply be more carefree of commitment to just one person at SUCH an early age...

    Is there a possibility that you would be willing to talk to your dr and ask him to put you in a touch with a good therapist... ?? I think that would be good! You are still so young yet and could have SO many 'good years' ahead of you... It would benefit you (I believe) to talk with someone that you could just 'pour your heart out to'... and a good therapist could help give you a new sense of direction. Good luck to you.

  • Thank you,I know things will get better but it hurts so much that he has left me and children. I have poured my heart out to the doctor and some family members x

  • Hello Have you tried to talk, or has the problem gone too far ?.

    You could if agreed visit RELATE they may be able to intercede between both parties.

    If your marriage seems over you may need a Solicitor to act on your behalf, or you can initially take advice from CAB.

    If depressed see your GP and a treatment may be able to calm you as you make some difficult decisions.

    Personally I would advise you if possible, do not knock yourself up, relationships go wrong and it can take two to make errors, or one to go off the rails for any negative reason. I suppose if it is a younger woman your husband would feel flattered and not consider the consequences. Yes you were young, now decide what you want, and ask yourself what and how you are going to achieve these wishes

    Good Luck


  • I have asked him if we could go to relate but he doesn't want to and to be fair I don't want him in my life if he is going to cheat and lie. I will get back on my feet and be happy again. Thank you for your replies 

  • You are not a bad person because your husband did something hurtful to you. Also, you are only 32. That is still young and you will have plenty more opportunities to find love if you do not shut your heart away because of this experience. Hopefully your 18 years together had many good times. Focus on that, and let the future take care of itself.

  • Thank you and yes we had some brilliant times together and as we have children. I'm hoping to find that special someone at some point x

  • I wouldn't rush though. Your first relationship sounds a hard act to follow. Doesn't mean you cannot have fun going out though. Why not take your time and play the field a bit, until things settle down.

  • Oh no I'm not going to rush into anything. Me and children are going to move ect so I need to make them happy and get settled. I'm also going back to college in September so I'm going to take little steps

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