Depression

[Happyheart]

Hi I'm 31 and I've suffered from depression in the past many times I might add. This time seems to be different I have seen the doctor and they gave me tablets only for a month. I am married and to be honest we are having trouble and in the past my husband has cheated which you can imagine it hurts. Since last year lots happened between us and now the depression is back but like I said it seems different. I've tried to talk to my husband about my feelings and he says I'm just being native about things which to be fair iam and I can't seem to help it. I'm trying to put a smile on my face and carry on but I'm finding it so hard.

[ladeda]

Hi Happyheart, I have also had many episodes of deep depression over the years and I don't think I could say any of them were the same. But when you think about it we are never the same, every experience we have impacts on how we think, sometimes its why we make the same mistakes over and over again, simply because its easier to repeat a pattern that's already been laid down in our neural network. It can never be exactly the same because every experience adds more thought paths.

Maybe the good news is the more techniques we develop to combat depression the easier it will get. I get very bad days but find I really can recover much quicker than I have in the past.

I am sorry things are rough for you at present, having relationship problems to worry about on top of life's usual stresses and strains would easily bring on another period of depression.

Putting on a smile and keeping your feelings inside is a habit best stopped, I did it for years to the point that I can't ask for help when I probably need it most. We really need each other for support, so its so important for you to have that support system in place.

Please don't wait for things to disintegrate, but speak to your health providers to see what is around you that might help. Consider going to relate for marriage guidance, having a mediator there could help your husband understanding what your going through, and what is and isn't what he can do to be supportive.

There will always be the odd day when our minds can trick us into thinking its not worth carrying on, doom and gloom can seem everywhere sometimes, but looking past that the world is an incredibly beautiful place full of amazing people and love that's lets face it, good to be part of. When your down its hard to remember just how happy you can be, but working on overcoming depression is well worth the journey no matter how many times you need to go down that road.

I know I tend to waffle on a lot and I just wish I could give you a hug and say be strong you will get through this, and even if the future holds a few more struggles for you, it also holds many experiences that you would not trade for the world.

Take care don't ever be afraid to get help to work through things.

Love and hugs Moni x

[denvajade in reply to ladeda]

What a fabulous positive reply! I have a daughter who went through unfaithfulness and decided to stay with the marriage, it takes so much strength, you have been hurt and it takes a long time to trust again. It would be nice for your husband to understand that you are going to feel insecure and need more support and love. I wish you wel.

[Happyheart in reply to denvajade]

Thank you for both replies. Ive been writing things down about my feelings so I shall give it to my husband to read. We are going to go councillor and maybe that will help me get all my feelings out there. I have felt alone in the past with depression but this time I feel even more alone and I'm trying my hardest not to be this negative person. Im trying my best to hide my feelings as I don't want my children to see so I go and cry when they ain't around. I just want to be this happy person again x

[denvajade in reply to Happyheart]

I really understand depression is a black hole. It's hard to work out whether it's ourselves or our relationship. I have struggled with this for 46 years and only really sorting it out. No too old to move out on my own. I suffered with depression before marriage but have got worse and worse.

I hope counselling will work for you. Wishing you all the best.