Annie

[AnnieQ]

So much has happened in such a short time I wanted to let you all know the real Annie. Talking about her helps me to come to terms with the fact she is gone. Annie had already talked to the boys about the way she felt and they know she didn't leave them because of what they had done. I am so proud of them. She left them strict instructions to live their life to the full and not to dwell on life's downsides - she thought she was leaving us to set us free. Annie was 43. She was a very attractive girl (although she didn't believe that) and very fit. She ran the London Marathon in 2012 to raise money for Cancer Research, plus many other races, in memory of her Dad who died in 2010. She liked to help others and would worry about them. She hated it if she couldn't help them and got very frustrated with herself for not being able to find the answer to their problems. Annie made people laugh and she wore her heart on her sleeve. She was my gorgeous girl and she will be in my heart forever.

Everyone on here take care. I have no idea how it feels to be so depressed, but it is an illness so I hope you all find the cure you need.

[WantToChange]

Thank you for updating us.

I have felt upset about this. I was thinking about Annie during my drive home after I found out, and I had to suppress tears. I would have cried had it not been for the fact I was driving and would have been dangerous.

I just couldn't get it round my head. We had a private chat and she said I had really helped her and she was getting her life back on track. We both agreed we would speak again soon to see how the other was doing and I had been thinking of contacting her again soon. I just felt good that I managed to give her that push she needed. I have to admit I am a bit worried that maybe I was too hard on her. But she was grateful so it obviously didn't seem too harsh at the time.

She told me about the marathon. But yeah, I don't think she thought she was attractive. She said in one of our messages that she now sees she is attractive for her age. She said it in such a way that it came across she didn't feel like that often.

I think your boys are very brave. Annie was kind to have chatted to them about things so they wouldn't blame themselves.

I think that it's incredibly hard to understand someone who has depression and to understand what is going on in their head. For some, they simply won't allow themselves to be happy, even when they have nothing to be down about because their lives seem good. Some convince themselves they don't deserve to be happy.

My other half has depression. He has thought of suicide and said he once planned the whole thing. So when hearing about Annie I had a bit of a panic. He promised he won't do anything. I believe him. But I know he still thinks about dark things. I don't know how to describe how I feel when I know his depression is attacking him. Worried doesn't cover it tbh. I suppose I feel desperate, like I want to take all of it away and leave him feeling happy. But I can't. I try to just be there for him, give him a comforting cuddle and words of reassurance. I know he feels I shoud be with someone better than him which is a sad thing for him to think becauseI think he is wonderful. Somtimes I wish he could see himself through my eyes.

I have suffered from situation depression in the past. It lasted for years on and off. And I was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and also anxiety. I think being diagnosed with this has made everything fall into place - I no longer feel useless and unable to fit in socially. I understand myself more - the way my head works and my feelings. I have found a good job with a boss who understands me or at least tries to and says I can talk to him when things are hard. My love is very understanding of me too and in return I can be understanding of him.

Although I don't have deep depression like Annie had or my bf, I do know what it feels like to feel excluded and to self-hate. I only wish I can transform the lives of everyone who suffers in this way.

I'm really sorry about what happened, I wouldn't even know how to comfort you. Annie told me she was happily married. And although you argued recently, she loved you and loved being with you. I could tell from the way she wrote that she adored you and was thankful for you.

Look after yourself. And don't be afraid to come and talk to me if you need to, for anything, anytime.

Much love and sympathy xxxx

[celtic2746]

Hi i had the pleasure of knowing anne through this group she was very helpful to others who needed help ! I will remember annie as a good friend and im sorry she is no.longer with us may she rest in peace god bless her husband and her boys - david