I have married a long time. My wife has had enough of me. I don't know what to do or where to go. Feeling very low..

[John1]

It would be good to hear from any body out there

[Hidden]

Hi John nice to meet you and welcome to the site. I am sorry you are having such a bad time right now. You don't whether you have been to the doctors yet, Do you think you have depression? You can do an online test if you are not sure. Just google it.

I am not surprised by how you are feeling, it's always terrible when a relationship breaks up isn't it? Most folk will have gone to bed by now but a few will still be up. I am sure lots will reply to you tomorrow. Take care and speak to you soon. x

[Photogeek]

Hi there and sorry to hear your plight. Has your wife left you? Or do you just think she is

Tired of you? Anyway welcome here. It would be a help to know a bit of background to

Be Able to be of any help to you. You will get support here. For Depression.

Hannah

[John1]

Thank you both for taking the time to give me a response. I don't know what is going on and this is not the first time I have been in this position with my wife. But I feel now that after 50 years my marriage is probably over.. Am I depressed? well yes now probably. The thought of breaking up and living on my own is quite scary at any time but not good at my age. My wife is still here in the house but she wants me out. I think that is probably inevitable end really. She has made her feelings for me very clear. She was so angry I couldn't console her one bit. It didn't developed from an argument she just kicked off so much anger and hatred really. I think I have to leave but there are lots of difficulties ahead. No family close by my son and daughter have busy life's and I don't want to burden them. Other options are moving north 250 miles to the rest of my family (sister) etc. but that means quite a separation from my grandchildren age 25, 21 and 12 months..

[SueBee60]

You need legal advice. She can't just kick you out after 50 years. You must find out where you stand. Also if you see a solicitor it may make her realise you mean business.

[Hidden]

Hi John

Talk to your wife, ask her if there is any possibility at all of you both working it out together, if so then ask her to go to Relate with you, they charge according to income. If she says no then discuss with her how you can end the marriage amicably. You do not have to leave, in fact you have a right to stay and if she wants to end the marriage she must leave unless the courts say to the contrary, so if she will not try to work things out then seek legal advice. But first do ask her to go to Relate with you - we all feel hatred at times for people we love when we feel disappointed or let down by them but it does not always mean there is no love left, in fact we only hate those we love - other people don't raise such intense feelings! Do talk with her.

Sue x

[Hidden]

Hello John,

Generally you should not leave your home, all I can suggest after fifty years is try and talk, as we get older our lives can spread out in hindsight and sometimes we dislike what we see and the options that we failed to take.

and we can start to blame those who we chose to spend our life with. What if comes to mind. Sadly it can be what if I did that can rear its head and we long to turn back the clock and blame the partnership we have spent our life with. Life when aged becomes more urgent and regrets spread from past errors we make.

You could try Relate, although age or length of time you have lived together can be traumatic as you have been together now for fifty years a longer period together than not knowing each other and you made lives together with a family who will be possibly watching this with distress and confusion.

You need to try and find the reasons why this is happening and give each other love and understanding, not forgetting support at this twilight of years.

Good Luck on this journey you are forced to take. It can be a learning period for you both

BOB

[John1]

Thank you all very much. You have helped me enormously.

It is really

good to be able to talk to other people and your advice has been so well thought out.

Growing older is not easy and suddenly problems seem to come out of nowhere sometimes.

We have talked a lot over our difficulties and things and things are a lot better today. It is a constant learning curve as time goes bye. Hopefully we have both learned something and can get back some of a new romance or at least a better understanding of each other. So thanks again. John

[GrumEone]

Hi John1 I don't know how long u've been married. I've been for 40yrs. My wife has told me that she has already grieved for her husband, who is NOT the person she married. So much for better or worse. I have several Chronic illnesses and major/servere depression. If she could afford it she would have left me yrs back. I try not to live in past or future. Concentrating on present, my daughters and grandkids. The good stuff. I have Heart Failure. I have a finite number of years. I'm not concerning myself with negative stuff or people. That is my aim it doesn't always work. U have to decide on what is best for U. If all is over between you both, can you still live under same roof? Sit down and talk to her or a friend, or professional. DECIDE ON WHAT U WANT. and then work towards it. I hope this helps U. U are not the only one to have is Life challenge.