Safegaurding

[maryp17]

What is confidential and what's safeguarding went too see someone today at college about how I'm feeling saying I feel really upset she said I have to savegaurd you and will keep it confidential unsless I'm worried if I tell her I'm cutting my self will she tell someone

[Suzie40]

It means that the person at college has a duty of care, and if she thinks you are a risk to yourself or anyone else, she has to inform your GP or the police. Cutting yourself does not necessarily mean you at risk of suicide and the person at college will have to judge that for themselves x

[maryp17]

OK I don't know weather to tell her or not she wants to talk to me on Thursday ¿??????

[Suzie40]

Personally, I don't think there's a point in any sort of therapy unless you're prepared to be really honest with yourself and the person you're taking to. That said, I understand how hard it is to speak openly to people you don't know too well. Why don't you see how it goes in Thursday, and if you think she's someone you could get on with, make another appointment and prepare yourself to try and open up a bit next time x

[maryp17]

I do get on with her she gives me a hug and I know her relative really well and she plays with my hair and she is always there for me I will open up with her on Thursday I think she is really nice and she knows I have something to talk to her about just finding it hard to say but she is going to get me to sit down and chat to her Thursday about things x

[maryp17]

I was not meant to say that she knows me really well and gives me huggs so. Shhhhh

[Suzie40]

Hugs are fine if they work! It sounds like she's just the right person for you to talk to. Hope it goes well for you Mary x

[Hidden]

Hello

Generally, If you are harming your medical history will be kept private ,

For your own safety, if you harm and they feel you are in danger they reserve the right to remove to safety and contact Healthcare professionals to allow this to happen. You will need to understand that this person you are seeing is possibly attached to your College. and not the NHS

All is standard practice

BOB

[Hidden]

Hun, I'm a safeguarder (mandatory reporting obligations) through both my work and church.

If I have someone who is either legally a child or can be defined as a vulnerable adult (for example during the first 21 days of my last major episode of depression I would have been defined as vulnerable), then I have to decide if they are at risk from someone else or from themselves. Where possible I would obtain their consent to share information if I considered them to be at risk, but I would have to report regardless of consent.

Examples of times I've had to do this include a severely depressed guy who had a well thought out suicide plan, and a situation where the woman I was working through some food issues with reported her partner was force feeding their 4 year old when the kid wouldn't eat.

In the first he consented, in the second she was terrified, but I explained that she would get help to protect her from repercussions and that my obligation was to protect her child regardless of her consent.

I hope from these you understand that this system is to protect you and the person you are planning to speak to.

If you disclosed self-harm to me I would be encouraging you to work with your GP to get help, and I would be considering how much risk your behaviour put you at, and I would try to negotiate an agreed strategy for when you might seek urgent help.

Your GP if they became involved in your treatment would use Gillick competency to assess whether you had the ability to make your own healthcare decisions. Many kids are considered Gillick competent from 13 years old, so parents do not need to be informed (though your GP would encourage you to seek support from family)

[maryp17 in reply to Hidden]

This is what I mean I am scared to say anything toanyone aabout any problems,s as nothing is confidential but yet people say its better to talk to people I can't trust no one no more I'm alone and may as well suffer alone

[Hidden in reply to maryp17]

Unless you are seriously at risk, confidentiality will be maintained. Talking helps, but practical talking is also about finding solutions. Getting help from others can be a step to finding solutions, but you would have to choose to make those contacts.

Safeguarding is not something that anyone with responsibilities takes lightly - I've been in practice and obligated to report for 7 years and only twice reported without consent of the party at risk. I see around 25 people per week and oversee staff delivering care to a further 300 per week - and we average consented reporting about 6 cases a month.

Both the cases I told you were glad in the long run that someone cared enough to suggest they needed more help.

When you are depressed, you don't feel that anyone can help or that anyone would want to help without expecting something in return. I know that - I've been there in the last 2 months.

Thing is, with help I overcame a real big problem that was dragging me down and I know that I couldn't have done it without the help

[maryp17 in reply to Hidden]

Can you help me then please

[Hidden in reply to maryp17]

Were you my patient I would say go and speak to this lady and get her to help you make an appointment with either the school nurse or a doctor. You could even ask if she can come with you.

If the doc suggests you should talk to family, explain why you prefer not - at 17 you will almost certainly be judged competent to make medical decisions concerning yourself.

Breaking confidentiality can get health professionals and others sanctioned or fired, so a decision to safeguard without consent has to be well justified. In the case of the lady with the 4 year old, I was safeguarding a child from abuse, not safeguarding the mother and at 4 the child needed me to act on their behalf.

[maryp17 in reply to Hidden]

Can I be your patient please

[maryp17]

I am alone no one will help they say tell your mum I don't want too

[gardengnome in reply to maryp17]

what would actually happen if your mum found out you had asked a professional for help? And finds you have done self-harm? Most mothers would want their children to be safe, and would rather try to be allowed to help their child sooner, rather than later, when their condition had deteriorated....

Only you know what her reaction will be. Do you think she will be angry, or afraid?

[maryp17 in reply to gardengnome]

Angry I think I don't know never come across a situation like this before

[gardengnome in reply to maryp17]

hi think my computer crashed as i was about to post the reply--- If you had a friend who had problems but kept them secret from you, and her problems got worse because she did not get help, what would you say to her?

Are you hoping you will be over 18 before the step-mother finds out? Can you cope that long? If not then I would say take the risk of telling more to the counsellor, What consequences do you think there are likely to be when the family find out how far things have gone with you? How extreme do you realistically expect the reaction to be.

Bottom line is----which is worse, ? Struggling on without support? Or getting the confessions over and done with.

If you know it will be difficult to start the conversation with the family, then put it down in a letter. Either way you have a decision to make....

[Stilltrying_]

Mary, regarding safeguarding, didn't you say you were 17? I think you should go tomorrow and trust this lady.

There is a difference between confidentiality and safeguarding. Things will be confidential unless it will really harm you or another person for them not to be confidential (it is mainly how much they think you may harm yourself or another person ) For example if they thought you were planning to kill yourself then they would have to tell someone to try and stop you.

However if for example the problem was that you were pregnant then I'm not sure that your adoptive parents would need to know or if they were harming you in some way then you would not get in trouble for telling someone about it. Best thing to do is to ask her exactly what things she would have to tell someone else about and who she would have to tell. If you are self harming and that is what you are worried about people finding out then you should ask her for example " If I was self harming would you have to tell my doctor or my adoptive parents"? (as I know you don't have good relationship with them)

I know you have not been able to explain yourself very well on here but you are trying and we have had conversations via PM.

I'm a bit tired so apologies if this doesn't make too much sense. I am trying to help and I think if you like the lady it is a good start and you should trust her. I have to go now as tired but wish you the best of luck for tomorrow.

Gemmalouise x

[Stilltrying_]

Whatever it is that is bothering you you will feel better when you have talked to her.

Nite xx