Really struggling and not sure what to do?

[carol126]

Hi i was hoping for some advice please. 3 years ago i held down a full time job looked after the home husband and 3 sons my middle son has chrons disease and spends alot of time in hospital. 27 may 2010 i was taken from work to the hospital and straight on the sttoke ward. i was in a wheelchair for 3 months but slowly got stronger. i have never been fully fit since i have headaches most of the timeleft sided weakness numbness snd pins and needles and been diagnosed with fnd. if i try to go to the gym i am ok for a few days then i am knocked off my feet for days. i am tired all the time snd either shputing or crying. i was on meds but they didnt seem to work they vhanged them last week. i took one at night but i felt really strange. I just dont know what to do as i feel docs dont seem to listen. hope someone can help? X

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Hi

You have had a lot to cope with and it sounds as though you are feeling frustrated, distressed and unsupported. You will be experiencing the loss of your working identity and interaction with colleagues, perhaps some anger at having given so much to your children and not being able yourself to get support from other people when you need it and in addition your body will also be recovering from the effects of the stroke.

I don't have any advice as I really don't know how I would deal with the effects of a stroke, but do the hospital have a counselling service where you can seek advice from someone who is qualified and experienced in helping people with similar problems. The consultant who treated you should be able to advise about that so do please ask to be referred back to him, they are responsible for helping you with aftercare. Your GP may also know whether there is a local branch of the Stroke Association, alternately you could Google them - they may have a local support group or support visitors, etc, and at the very least may be able to put you in touch with someone who has experienced something similar. Your GP could refer you to a counsellor for general support and coping strategies.

Suexx

[Loobie1605]

Hi

You sound as if you have had a really rough time lately and you sound quite young, so it must be really frustrating not being able to do the things you used to. Have had any support from the Stroke Association, they came out to see my dad after his stroke. I know he finds it frustrating that he can't do what he used to, but he is 84 and its hard to tell the difference between the effects of the stroke and old age. Doctors don't always know everything and are the last people to admit it to their patients, is there a different doctor in your practice you could talk to. Have you talked to your sons and husband about how you feel. You have spent your life looking after them, I wonder if you feel that your role has changed. I have noticed that with dad, his temperament has changed and I think it's down to frustration. He has also been left with a weakness, and initially had physio, which did help and maybe would help you too. This site is really good too if you just want someone to talk to. We not have the answers, but we will listen!

Les x

[carol126 in reply to Loobie1605]

Thank you for your replies. i am going to see if i can see a different gp and maybe see if i could get to see a councilor. i think maybe if i could get to talk to someone outside it might help me to think clearer. My family i know it sounds stupid but i feel like they are fed up with me never being well. i have been strong for everyone for years but i feel like i have no fight left.