I wish I can find a partner, I am 37 male and alone , divorced and I suffer from loneliness, Can sb help me?

[Alireza]

[David196]

Hi Alizera. I was 37 when I met my wife. A couple of years earlier I was what some colleagues called SAD. Single and Desperate. Living alone and with a small circle of friends. with a couple of other SAD colleagues we decided to be single and desirable. Being lonely is tough but dwelling on it and accepting it did not help.

I decided just to get out and do the stuff I liked, enjoy my hobbies, visit friends more often and go out to social situations I perhaps would have avoided, small bands at pubs, local theatre, join the local diving club.

I was happier and more relaxed, more desirable because of it.

Doing a few more parties and social meetings made me more comfortable at just chatting, other people were happy to chat, we all value others in our lives.

going on a diving holiday with a couple of married friends forced me to meet diving buddies.

In 1999, aged 37, on a diving holiday I met Kath. She lived in Kent, me in Cumbria, 5 hours apart.

We have now been married 11 years.

A friend of mine tried online dating agencies which worked for him. There a a lot of people out there looking to connect with others.

All I can say is to get out and do what you enjoy. You will be happier and more attractive.

Take care

Dave

[Suzie40]

I think you have to be in the right mindset to find love. And that starts from deep within. Looking for someone to plug the gaps in your life - loneliness, sadness and without a wife, will never lead you to the right person. Search for ways to make you feel better about life without a partner, and you'll be surprised how easily one will come along x

[Alireza in reply to Suzie40]

I feel well if I find a lady as a friend. I am very loyal and pay extreme attention to her. Once I love, I am integrated in it. I need and I am looking for. We need to meet up and talk first and I know it well. Please help me in finding and the ways.

Thanks Ali

[Gambit62]

I think that love finds us rather than the other way round. As Dave describes, start by trying to make new friends and meet new people - have the courage to join some clubs that interest you or if there is a religious group that you belong to see what is happening there. Make friends of both sexes and enjoy the friendships first.

There is a joke - I know it in a Jewish version - A man goes to Schull every Shabos and prays to god 'Please Lord, you are almighty and all powerful, let me win the lottery.' This goes on for months until eventually G-d has had enough and booms out 'For Heavens Sake - meet me half way - buy a lottery ticket!'

Hope you find peace.

[Alireza in reply to Gambit62]

Hi Gambit, you are right but as you joke says I should apply and ask for love so someone will answer me. And now I again ask for a long love for marriage. If there is some one please leave a message and I will respond soon. Thanks

Ali

[Suzie40]

Oh Ali, I do hope you're not posting here hoping to find a wife? We're all far too miserable to marry you sorry! This is a depression forum you know? Hardly the right venue for finding someone cheerful!

[Alireza in reply to Suzie40]

Thanks Lucy, how about a partner that can fill the gaps together, I nedd sb who needs sb to talk and share love together.

[Gambit62 in reply to Alireza]

Ali, how long ago was your divorce?

It may be that the loneliness that you are feeling is more to do with the change from the divorce. If that is the case then jumping straight into another relationship, without learning to really live with yourself, may be the last thing you really need right now.

[Alireza]

Do you know sb helping me? Thanks if you help me. Ali