I'm not lazy, it's just that somebody stole my motivation!

As much as I've tried since suffering my ABI during TB meningitis, my get up and go has got up and buggered off somewhere that it has no intention of letting me find.

Whilst this is occasionally a mild inconvenience to me, it is tantamount to a chronic case of haemorrhoids to my wife who fails to sympathise.

So many of my new traits are an inconvenience but I've learnt to accept and even embrace them. Whenever I've spoken to docs, they always ask if I'm bothered by it, and I reply no, but it bothers my wife so it's a problem for me?

Does anybody have any suggestions or advice for handling a problem like this in a relationship?

4 Replies

  • It obviously IS a problem for someone, or you wouldn't be posting.

    I'm no relationship expert but it takes 2 to tango. I have CKD as well as having post meningitis symptoms, and both cause me fatigue in varying degrees. .

    I'd suggest trying to get some advice TOGETHER.

    Good luck

  • I acquired a frontal brain injury also from Bacterial Meningitis & Septiceamia. My get up and go has also got up and gone ....... I am not in a relationship so can't answer from that perspective but I am parenting a 10 yr old. He is the focus and oomph that gets me to make sure I am not impacting on his childhood in a negative way ...... but it is very very difficult and I know I fall well short of what I used to do with him. I also have anhedonia which means I don't experience the enjoyment in day to day life either. When I am on my own eg when son at school, I do a lot of sitting doing now't which the 'old' me would not have tolerated as I was always a busy bee ........... but now I am happy with it this way. I have difficulties interacting with the world outside my house, which invariably seems to go wrong and end up in conflict, and so me, myself and I is the least stressful place to be.

  • I think you are being too hard on yourself. Have you been in touch with Meningitis Now? I'm sure they would help you and your wife understand the whys and wherefores - which in turn really would help you both. I think doing nothing is not an option as your relationship is being affected. Best wishes.

  • I'm going on 4 months post VM ....As great and fabulous as I feel ...I still have some lingering after effects, but nothing that truly bothers me. The only thing that bothers me is my boyfriend lol ,so I know what your saying. Our relationship was put to the test when I got sick and he was great, but once the "5-7 doc says you'll get better" days past , shit changed. As more time went on and after effects took me down ...I could feel him get more and more impatient and irritated with me ...I was sleeping a lot, still ill for awhile , became depressed etc...I felt alone because he assumed I should be better...I am almost 100% now but hearing and vision still not up to par...he gets frustrated with me when I can't hear him sometimes..then I get pissed that he's pissed...our relationship is no longer strong and we are working on it, but right now my health,sanity and my new goals are what are most important to me right now. Things are going great regarding the VMand being sick was a blessing in disguise for me because it led me to persue my dream and do things Ive wanted to do for a long time :)

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