Boxing Day 2015 I contracted VM and was finally discharged 15th February 2016. I'm a single mum to 2 girls aged 9 & 10. At the time my mum and my local church helped me out a lot, and I'm forever grateful to them.
I work in a school as a TA and I have been unable to return to work and it's now 1st April! I have been on a dose of propanalol and amitriptyline but I've gained so much weight and I can't cope with being fatter. Prior to this I struggled with bulimia, so putting on weight is a BIG fear. I googled the side affects and it turns out that weight gain is one of them. I decided to stop them and now I'm having withdrawals. Cold feeling, aching, can't sleep, tearful, aggressive (but since having VM I have found that I have been so impatient and short tempered)
My memory is so bad I can't even remember what I did yesterday or sometimes conversations I just don't recollect.
I have a big fear of going out in public now and just hide myself away at home. My kids have been invited to various things and I find myself telling them we can't go because 'mummies not well '. I feel so bad and guilty but I can't bring myself to do social events.
I belong to a local church and I haven't been back since 2015, I usually sing in the band, but now I'm too scared to be seen. I am avoiding all their calls and texts. My church leader turned up at my door uninvited and I shut the door in her face. I eventually opened it but told her blatantly that 'when is she going' because I wasn't comfortable being in anyone's company. Even my own children are driving me crazy and I'm constantly shouting and then happy for a while. I can snap so quickly it's scary.
Any advice would be greatly received as I feel lost and like no one understands how I'm feeling. Thank you