Or so sung US warbler Britney Spears and it looks like I have too. On August 16th I completed my third half ironman triathlon (1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike ride, 13.1 mile run) in aid of Meningitis Now although not so much 'oops' as why the heck am I doing this.
When I was first discharged from hospital (in July 2002) having suffered what, I was pleasantly reassured was something no more serious that a heavy bout of flu, I couldn't walk more than ten steps without being exhausted. Having gone from training for an open water triathlon one week to shuffling wreck in another I wondered then if I would ever do anything active again. I was in pain like I had never known before and I was convinced I had <insert name of famous footballer here> doing penalty practice in my head. I couldn't turn my neck, I ached all over, had no idea of the names of my children, couldn't get out of bed and couldn't remember what it was I did for a living. Wow, if this viral meningitis is like flu I am never missing a flu vaccination again, I thought.
Three days after I was discharged from hospital my wife found me collapsed on the bathroom floor (no I have no idea how I got there either) unconscious, barely breathing and cold to touch. I was rushed back in under blues and twos being worked on by a paramedic whilst the driver drove the 13 miles to the Accident and Emergency department like Sebastian Vettel on steroids (I follow F1 but I have no idea about football). I remember saying to my wife 'please don't let me die' and then blackness. I came round in A&E to be told that although I had nearly died in the ambulance they were sending me home, again because I 'only had viral meningitis'. Cue Yosemite Sam moment, well it would have been if I had the energy to be 'rootin, tootin mad'.
Fortunately I had private health insurance and saw a neurologist six weeks after the initial attack who told me how serious it all had been. He explained that doctors are told that VM is never serious regardless of how the patient is presenting and that they can go from being very seriously ill to well in a short space of time. He told me that I had in fact almost died twice, once in the hospital on first admission and then secondly in the ambulance on the way to A&E three days later and yet the hospital still discharged me. My fitness as a triathlete was what saved me apparently because my aerobic fitness and cardiovascular system had meant the difference between surviving and what he called 'checking out of hotel life'.
Fast forward to 2015, my other posts I hope cover the intervening period, and after 10 months of training, losing 23lbs in weight, overloading the washing machine every week with kit so smelly it could melt stainless steel, I was in the water waiting to start half ironman number 3. The day had rushed up to me and caught me by surprise, oops I was doing it again! The swim was like 200 people being in a washing machine together, my goggles were kicked off and I was trying to work out how the bloke in front couldn't swim in a straight line. Out of the water and onto the bike I was struck how cold it was (18.5C in the water, 11.5c ambient) and I just didn't warm up for the whole 56 miles. One of the joys, if you like food, of a half ironman is the ability to eat copious amounts of food on the bike. Flapjacks, gels, energy drink and water, yes sirreee this was one athletes gourmet meal (I can't face any of those at the moment) every 20 minutes. Feeling like I had probably eaten too many flapjacks, gels, energy drink and water, I headed out on the run and the temperature had risen to 24c ambient. I went from freezing cold to boiling hot in the space of 20 minutes. The run at Monster Middle (monsterracing.net) is a succession of 5 laps and 3 hills and on my first lap, I was way behind everyone else, a female athlete came past me and said 'oh you're walking on you first lap, that makes me feel better', charmed I'm sure. I can't remember what I said in reply but I'm pretty sure the suffix was 'off'.
Then suddenly I was on my final lap of the run having gone through a whole gamut of emotions (I have a torn cartilage in my knee) having been reduced to tears at one point at the top of one of the hills. I had flashbacks to what I can remember about the hours, days and weeks following the attack of VM when I couldn't walk and thought I would never ever complete a triathlon again, let alone one which is 70.3 miles long, and I remembered I was doing it for two reasons. Firstly to raise money for Meningitis Now and secondly to show other VM survivors, no matter where they are in their recovery, that regardless of how you feel now there is light at the end of the tunnel and that things you think you can never do are indeed possible. I got to the finish and wondered where the previous 7 hrs 31 minutes had gone, yes, oops I had done it again!