I am back to get advise from you about my fiancee, 22 years old.
She contracted TB Meningitis in July 2013 and since then I am continuously writing on this forum for your help and I am thankful for your kind replies.
Now after almost 9 months, From outside she looks perfectly fine but there is lot going inside. She has mild dystonia of left side and mild Hemiparesis of right side, which make her walking painful and hard. She cries while she walk (However earlier she used to scream like hell but it has improved to just some cry). She's still confused and silent all the time. She's having Physical therapy as well but when her therapist work with her legs, she screams like hell during stretch exercises. Please guide me through your best advise. Your opinions are really helpful.
Help me to fight for my love.
Thanks and regards,
Anuj
Written by
aujjaju
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After only 9 months, I was still in pain too. Interestingly, when one foot/leg had the sharp sharp pains, so did the other foot/leg. I couldn't stand the pain of wearing a shoe on either of my feet. So FINALLY, after about a year, I was able to tolerate a man's (I'm female) VERY wide and large sandal. That was the ONLY foot covering I could tolerate. Each year the pain lessoned. (This is why she now just cries instead of SCREAMING in pain.) After about 5 yrs, I was able to tolerate a WOMAN's sandal. Still couldn't tolerate anything touching my toe area though. Maybe 15 yrs after being released from the hospital, I was able to tolerate a closed shoe, tho not a high heel. Time...it all just takes time.
She's still the same person she was and as her pain dissipates over the years, she will return to being the wonderful woman you love.
It's been a long long time for you. When she'll be able to walk again. I miss her being with me, fighting with me, scoulding me sometimes. Will I ever be able to get her back in my life?
The year was 1977 and (in America) women were just beginning to be able to advance professionally along with men. Professional advancement was VERY important to me! So I was VERY motivated to return to my job and prove that I could be the BEST performer in the company (of 7000 employees.) So after a year of recovery, I went back to work and HID my new physical problems (so they couldn't be used as an excuse to not promote me.)
Now...I think that obsessive determination to excell at my job is what helped me the most in my recovery. And I was single, living alone, so I never had anyone to whom I could complain. "Just accept this overwhelming pain and move forward" I told myself over & over. "Nobody cares that you're in pain...they just want to know that you can produce outstanding work RESULTS!", I knew.
I realize that this puts you, aujjaju, in a difficult situation. You're her fiance...not her employer. Is there something that she REALLY REALLY wanted to accomplish before her meningitis? Because she's only in her early 20s, she may not have an intense desire to do anything in particular...that REQUIRES a healthy mind & body.
But I really think that's the key, aujjaju. Her pain is REAL...it's HORRIBLE! After 10 years, I was still wearing open-toed sandals, because of the pain. But nobody KNEW I was in pain. That can happen with your fiance too! It will just take time.
She wanted to be a teacher and was rushing herself for this accomplishment and she was just 2 month away from getting her job. But god has some other plans.
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