autism : I am a mother of a 24 year old man with... - Mencap

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autism

Karl2412leanne05 profile image
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I am a mother of a 24 year old man with autism. I realy need help as to how I can help him, he doesn’t interact with anyone unless on his computer he doesn’t leave the house has anxiety if he has to go out I’m at my wits end do you have any advice

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Karl2412leanne05 profile image
Karl2412leanne05
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Bluey203 profile image
Bluey203

Hi, I can completely relate to the worry and distress you must be feeling for your son.You could have been describing my eldest son, he also has autism and severe generalised anxiety disorder (GAD). He left school at 17 due to his anxiety and basically stayed in his room gaming all night and sleeping most of the day, his friends were those he played online, none in 'the real world'.

I ended up contacting a company that help those who are struggling and 'NEET' ( not in education, employment, or training) called 'Eat That Frog' they are based in the SouthWest. Over several years they helped his confidence so much, he made friends there too which meant alot to him and me, they have struggles just like him, he regularly games and plays dungeons and dragons with them. ETF also did The Princes Trust which increased his confidence and self worth. Now age 23, he has just started a job in Mc Donalds , which I couldn't have imagined a couple years ago.

He is also on Lustral sertraline which helped his anxiety, without it he wouldn't have ventured out, he started on 50mg and now on 100mg which he's stayed at for a few years now.

I'm sure there must be other companies that do the same in other areas of the country, definitely worth a try. Wishing you the best of luck, things will improve I'm sure.

Here's a link so you can see the company we contacted -

eatthatfrog.ac.uk/

Fuzzicle profile image
Fuzzicle in reply to Bluey203

Hi. I'm sorry to hear about your worry. I am diagnosed with autism but am also a specialist teacher and have worked with many children (14 to 18) with a variety of issues that stem from their autism. I also have GAD and panic disorder and struggle leaving the house, but I do. When I was younger I did this through drama. Pretending to be someone else made it very easy for me to overcome my fear of being rejected and I found many similar souls in the theatre. I've also found many autistic people work with computers, such as my husband, who is in software development. I helped him to become more sociable and he gives me permission to have down time and live in my own world. At the end of a working day I am tired and find interacting a struggle. Finally, my son (undiagnosed as dad didn't see benefit of diagnosis) is also an obsessive gamer. He now meets up with his gaming friends in the flesh. He has friends all over Europe and as a result he now travels. He has found work, after dropping out of university, which wasn't suitable for him. It's a niche job that is difficult for me to explain, but involves programming (I think?) of industry machines. He mostly works alone but in consultation with others and travels a lot. He's very proud of what he has achieved. When my son first entered work, he didn't manage to talk for the first 3 months, which obviously worried his co-workers. At 28, he is much better at communicating and is happy with the routine he has established for himself.

I live in Scotland and Scottish Autism do lots of online meet ups. I meet regularly with a mixed aged group (including young adult men) for an online choir every week. There are ways of being sociable. If your son is chatting with his gaming friends online then he is socialising. Perhaps he might be brave and want to meet them for real as they will have a common obsession and conversation will be easier.

I hope some of this might be helpful. Feel free to update.

Orcasaver profile image
Orcasaver

Try funcational IT online free course at Croydon/crawley college or surreycc.org.uk/adult learning courses

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