Now in my 50s, with undiagnosed asd I believe in my family of origin

[green_and_purple]

Hi . I’ve joined as I believe there is undiagnosed asd in my mother (now in her 80s) and brother (a year younger than me). I had an assessment done on myself and came out as having some autistic traits but not qualifying for a diagnosis of asd. Both my brother and I are single and have got through life ok, though I’ve had counselling on and off for 30 years due to various problems and mental health issues. I still have trouble communicating with mum and brother but understand them better as a result of getting older and having read a lot about asd. Am learning to have better boundaries with them which seems to help. Anyway, that’s me.

[outdoorsy1]

It is difficult to separate it all out - My father is clearly ASD - high functioning - largely seen by the world as 'eccentric' it was only when my son was being diagnosed that it became clear this all applied to my father and brother. Then I wonder if I am too - I definitely have trouble communicating with people - (and ASD tends to present differently in women) but how much of that was growing up in a household where this was normal, and how much is a trait I was born with? Not sure I will ever get answers to that - but knowing does make me accept and understand.

[green_and_purple in reply to outdoorsy1]

Yes, I think I also feel better for knowing and understanding. I can forgive myself more for past struggles.

[Sarah_Mencap]

Hello green_and_purple

Welcome, and thanks for introducing yourself.

It must be a bit frustrating not having a clear diagnosis. You sound to be doing all the right things to get help - many people find counselling very helpful.

Have you been in touch with the National Autistic Society (NAS) at all? Here is their website link - autism.org.uk

You mention a lot of things in your post, and NAS has information about many of them on their website:

> What is Autism? - autism.org.uk/advice-and-gu...

> Diagnosis for adults - autism.org.uk/advice-and-gu...

> Socialising and relationships - autism.org.uk/advice-and-gu...

> Communication - autism.org.uk/advice-and-gu...

> Mental health - autism.org.uk/advice-and-gu...

They even have their own online community - autism.org.uk/what-we-do/co...

I hope this helps a little.

Best wishes

Sarah

[green_and_purple in reply to Sarah_Mencap]

Hi Sarah,

Thanks for your message. Yes, I’m aware of the nas website, and have found it useful. It’s good to know you think I’m doing the right sorts of things. Thanks again!

Best wishes, Monica