I can't seem to get help after my daughter has turned 18 years old

[Fantalou]

my daughter was diagnosed with autism in 2015 (although I've known since she was 18months old) she was also diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and turner's syndrome the same year.

It has been a struggle over the past 2 years because mentally she has hit teenage years and has now aged out of any help from autism services. I don't know where to turn to her behaviour is becoming increasingly violent and when she has a meltdown I don't know anymore how to calm her. My own mental health has taken a beating too I have no real family to help so it's just myself and my husband. I'm so overwhelmed, I need help (we're in northern Ireland)

Louise x

[Jofisher]

Right ok there’s a challenging behaviour team under mental health services, I feel your pain honestly I do also try Carers association as they can be really helpful there are Autism societies out there as well. I would also advise getting a deputyship for property and finance and health and well-being before she turns 18 or just after. I’ve also used a consultant social worker she is worth her weight in gold as trying to challenge these organisations isn’t easy. My sons 30 now so I have had more than my fair share of battles.

[Fantalou in reply to Jofisher]

Thanks so much for your reply!

is this northern Ireland? I know here there are very limited Services there is no funding for adult autism team so there's no one in post. I will definitely ring an autism charity, do you have any recommendations on which one?

[Jofisher in reply to Fantalou]

ask your local voluntary services

[SpeedyH in reply to Jofisher]

Hi Jo. The Court of Protection does not cover Northern Ireland. Also, even in the UK, granting of deputyship is dependent on lack of capacity.

[Jofisher in reply to SpeedyH]

so I’m guessing your loved one has mental capacity so could you get a lasting power of attorney then instead?

[SpeedyH in reply to Jofisher]

She is in NI, Jo.

[Jofisher in reply to SpeedyH]

here’s who they are contact them and see if they can recommend anything they’re lovely

[EmpathyandLove]

Best think is to get in touch with the Challenging Behaviour Foundation

tel: [phone]

councilfordisabledchildren....

Guidance of positive behaviour support

challengingbehaviour.org.uk...

Most important thing is to look after yourself and treat yourself well: food sleep exercise laughter and fun and get respite. Your child relies on you: if you are exhausted and upset by the behaviour your child will be upset by your stress and everything gets worse. It is normal for all teenagers to seek independence and be tricky in the teenage years. If all goes well when the hormone surge reduces in 5 to 10 years time things will get back on track.

[Fantalou in reply to EmpathyandLove]

thanks for this I am working on giving myself some battery recharge time

[EmpathyandLove in reply to Fantalou]

Well done 😊. Strength to both of you. You love each other and it will get better!!!

[SpeedyH]

Hi there. Perhaps try contacting autismni.org The availability of Autism services is probably dependent on what area of NI you are in, and they might be able to signpost you. For general resources around positively supporting people showing distressed behaviours look at challengingbehaviour.org.uk

[Fantalou in reply to SpeedyH]

i will definitely try these thanks so much

[Annabellelily Community friend]

Hi Louise, I’m so sorry to hear this. You’re doing a fantastic job by reaching out, as I'm sure it can get overwhelming, and I hope have found some great advice from others' posts. For specific advice, you can always call Mencap’s helpline at 0808 808 1111, or email if it feels less overwhelming to do so at [e-mail] as they are trained advisers who may have knowledge specific to your area.

Also, for this situation, but also more generally, I have a relative with a range of disabilities in NI who is in her early twenties, and Positive Futures has been amazing for her for the past few years. They offer a range of services, so I would say it’s worth looking into if you’re not aware of them already positive-futures.net/

Wishing you the best, and take care

[Mybestfriends in reply to Annabellelily]

Hi does Positive Futures have Services in uk

[Annabellelily Community friend in reply to Mybestfriends]

I believe they are only in Northern Ireland, unfortunately not the rest of the UK

[Mybestfriends]

Reach out to Gp, referal to Adult Services, called Amhs & also ask for Adult Social Care Worker, you need an Assessment again for her, Needs Test too. Speak with Daughter as if you can keep good relations, she can then agree to you being able to know Medical & Banking, Housing etc etc otherwise its a real fight to be able to have info of Anything & the Gp, Hospital, Support, Bank will Not talk to you. See if Gp can help start the process, also Charity run organisations like Rethink, Firstpoint, MIND, Aspergers Experts online are good. Local Council can give you info direction too.

[Elle1984]

Hi Louise my daughter is a similar age and has similar behaviours, try contact.org.uk if you look on their website they cover Northern Ireland. They can point you in the right direction. I have been through hell with my daughter attacking me and it’s taken a long time for it to not be every day but I’m finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Please feel free to PM me I’m more than happy to chat about anything really but also the strategies that have worked for me. And this goes to anyone reading this also. I’m a good listener x