advice needed

[Disney56]

hi

About a year ago my daughter started hating pants and socks and tights and certain clothing! She is now 5 and this is getting worse to the point I wake up with a knot in my stomach every morning because I’m dreading putting her shoes and socks / tights on for school (and shoes) she screams and cries and says nasty things to me and has once even bit herself 🙈 she says they don’t feel right! I’ve tried everything! The kind talking way! The playful way! The shouting way! I literally have to sit on her to put them on! And practically drag her out of the house and we are usually late to school! I’ve ordered socks from bamboo! She just struggles so bad! She has also become funny about foods! There’s a lot she used to eat that she now says she doesn’t like and tells me she has belly ache after eating (not sure if this is because she doesn’t want to finish her dinners)

took her to the doctors and he wasn’t much help to be fair

she can be so up and down with her 9 year old brother! One minute she’s playing with him and within a split second she’s fuming with him and crying! My son and me are walking on eggshells because she can just flip for no reason!

She is so smart! And caring and kind and loving! And very forward for her age

I just want her to be happy 🥲 and I’m not sure if this is bahavioural or something more! I just don’t know what to do

[lecsmum]

Sensory processing disorder, You will need an assessment from an Occupational Therapist level 3, Join a Sensory group to learn from other parents, info on YOU TUBE too!

[lizzily]

Hello, It sounds as if your daughter has something called Sensory Processing Disorder which is a neurological condition which affects the way the brain processes information from the senses. She sounds to be over sensitive to touch and taste but it can also affect sight, hearing and smell as well. You need to go back to your GP armed with lots of information and ask for a referral to an Occupational Therapist who can test her for it and can help. It’s very difficult for you at the moment but it’s not your daughter's fault, she’s trying to tell you what’s wrong in the only way she can. There’s lots of info if you Google it. Good luck x

[Jofisher]

Hi this sounds really difficult I would ask for her to see an educational psychologist through the school. Are the school having issues with her at all ? My daughter was like this with clothes it drove me to distraction as I had a severely disabled son As well who was very poorly having seizures all the time so it was incredibly difficult trying to manage both of these issues plus with other children at home as well. My daughter has OCD and anxiety. We went to a paediatrician and to Great Ormond street Hospital and through school and nursery to get her help and children's social services for my son but in turn helped with my daughter as well. Ask for another doctor if the one you saw isn’t helpful also what about a health visitor or is she to old now I don’t know for a health visitor. There’s honestly no shame in asking for help as you say you’ve tried everything and it’s not helping and she’s clearly distressed by all this so your daughter clearly needs help too.

[Disney56 in reply to Jofisher]

She’s fine at school, model student! But she would be too scared to complain at school, I’ve asked her how she feels about her socks at school and she said it bothers her but she doesn’t say anything.

When I pick her up she’s happy, she gets home and doesn’t say anything about any of it :/ she will take her shoes off and leave her socks on while she’s home playing as normal :/ she does have a few meltdowns though just in general x

[Disney56 in reply to Disney56]

Can they outgrow this? X

[Stelmick in reply to Disney56]

my son has pretty much outgrown it he does have some small issues

[Jofisher in reply to Disney56]

Ah ok so it’s not all the time everyday that’s good at least with my daughter it was constant

[Disney56 in reply to Jofisher]

It’s every time she’s getting dressed, every day, but once dressed and out the house after the meltdown she gets on with her day, but she does have a few meltdowns ect which makes me think it’s bothering her subconsciously :/

Does this mean she will probably outgrow it? Xx

[Disney56 in reply to Disney56]

Although I pick my battles with her, there is certain clothes (a lot) she absolutely refuses to wear, I don’t make her, but she does have to wear pants and socks x

[Jofisher in reply to Disney56]

Sadly I can’t say my daughter continued having issues through her childhood and then she still suffers from anxiety even now and she’s in her thirties.

[BenjaminBunny]

Maybe this is just something your daughter is going through.Maybe by Christmas at the end of this year it might have stopped.

Was there any change to her shoes, tights, clothing that you can think of and maybe go back to the ones you were using before?

[Disney56 in reply to BenjaminBunny]

No, no changes, she’s even started getting upset with certain jamas, but she’s worn these jamas multiple times and suddenly now she screams 🙈 it’s taking over my life 🙈 my anxiety with her is through the roof x

[BenjaminBunny]

Sorry to hear you are waking up in the morning with a knot in your stomach.

It is not very nice to be living in dread of something.

Benjamin Bunny

[DrSarahmac]

It sounds like she associates the act of putting on these garments with something distressing rather than the wearing of them. Maybe she’s seen or heard something she can’t cope with and can’t express. Or maybe it’s become a behavioural tic and she’s sensing yours and your son’s anxiety around this. Could be a number of things but I agree with earlier suggestions and if it doesn’t naturally diminish over the next couple of months I’d try to access an educational psychologist.

[LostintheSENDgame]

Hi. This sounds like Sensory Processing Disorder to me too. My child's tolerance got significantly worse from around this age to the point that it would take an hour to get dressed each morning with lots of distress and then if a sock or a shoe wasn't just right they would strip back down to their pants and sob that this was why they could never leave the house again. It was awful! They can still only tolerate very specific things. I agree that they need a proper Sensory Assessment from a fully trained Sensory Occupational Therapist. These can be really hard to obtain. In my area they refused to accept a referral from the GP as it has become a traded Service and we had to pressure the school and the LA to eventually get this done. We then went through it all again with my 2nd child! Good luck x

[Stelmick]

no expert here but my son was like your daughter he has autism might be worth looking into