Boom and bust

[nedd]

mastcellblog.wordpress.com/...

Just throwing a link to ponder or not as the case maybe.

I didn't exactly boom all over the place yesterday. But I did my best. Sometimes life takes over and you just have to. As litttle sister flew in with her three year old. I don't know if she spotted the glazed expression. I don't know if she recognised the slow saunter as I pretended to admire the scenery finding seats to sit on. I didn't exactly rush in to bag the sofa for a lay down. Luckly small nephew dislikes noise. So the tv I flipped on wasn't loud. It provided a snooozing slot for me. They brought lunch with them they waved goodby before tea. And I waved goodby to another day done, and headed for bed.

Now I have moved into the what's called busting bit sure in the knowledge that dispite received wisdom. I shall doubtless respond to life's beckoning call if I can regroup. To

BOOM

Another day.

But at least I can recreate the warmth of yesterday's love in my imagination.

[Zebra68]

I spoke to my GP about this after taking 6 weeks to recover from a walk on the beach, and her advice was that you have to live sometimes so enjoy things when you can, you know what to do afterwards to recover. I have a very good and understanding Doctor.

Glad you had a lovely day with your family. Enjoy the memories. I always feel grateful that i have days well enpugh to make them. They certainly are the things that keep you going with this crappy disease.

[nedd in reply to Zebra68]

As the world shrinks the smallest of things need to be nurtured to keep the flagging spirit from sinking completely.

You have a doctor that understands. Marvellous.

Find your happies where you can.

Go well

[Hidden]

Hi nedd,

So glad you made it through your sister's visit. Living with M.E., I would not get anything done without BOOM and BUST. While I am generally happy with pacing, if I want to push the boat out inevitably I will have to BOOM and BUST. Crikey, after my sister and niece's visit end of August I had to rest on the settee for 7 days. That was mad! Usually I lead a quiet life away from too much stimulation. I have a glass ceiling which I cannot get through. That is ok and if I need to BOOM and BUST then so be it. The pleasure is worth it.

Lottie x

[nedd in reply to Hidden]

I am working on accepting that I have a glass ceiling that cannot be pushed though. When I first came across the expression it was a relevation. Very apt. The self esteem takes a hit if I compare myself to others.

I still suffer from the internal voice that says

I should be able to do it

Pacing and acceptance are everything. But need constant practice!

[Hidden in reply to nedd]

Thank you for your comments nedd. I have had the same glass ceiling for c15 years.

I have accepted my condition (as I call my ME) and I have learned to live with it. I decided I was not going to waste any more energy fighting my ME and I was not going to compare myself to others with ME.

I have lived on my own since my partner passed away almost three years ago. I have myself and my little dog to take care of. That is more than enough for me, my little dog does not get walked every day but she is happy to be by my side.

Nedd, I lead a simple life and am at peace with my ME and the limitations it imposes. I am happy at home 'in my own little world' and have close friends nearby.

I am a great believer in pacing nedd but sometimes it's great to rebel!! Also the internal voice that says to you "I should be able to do it......., " I have retrained my internal voice and I now say "I cannot do that today, maybe tomorrow, maybe never."

Lovely sharing with you nedd, you take care

Lottie x

[nedd in reply to Hidden]

Love your alternative thought. Shall write it down.

I have just come across one after listening to pain podcasts.

"Change your point of reference ".

I find it helpful.

I am sorry to about your partner. I can't imaging what that must be like. It must be bad enough when you are firing on all cylinders. And you can fill the day with stuff. And care for yourself and others. But when you have no energy to to sweat the small things the days thrown our way. They are so long.

Dogs are family. Fate threw a whippet my way. On a bike ride. After I had lost our son.(long story). Enough to say he was ment.

No more bike rides. I more whippet, And then threw a tiny grey stray kitten. A week before my mother crashed and died before Xmas. I found her in a garden mewling. She Is such diversion and so funny. A real tonic. In fact I have just seen her and her friend from across the road Cookie slide gracefuly down the shed roof and get tangled in the rose bush.

It's amazing what you stumble across when your not looking.

Happy stumbling.

Go well

[Hidden in reply to nedd]

Thank you for your kind words nedd.

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your son and the tragic loss of your mum. The loss of your son has to be one of the hardest and most painful of losses. I do not believe you ever get over the loss of those closest to you yet somehow, slowly, we learn to live with our loss. But it is never far from the surface is it.

I feed my soul every day. I love to be at home and I also love to walk Izzie and be close to nature.

It is wonderful to hear how your whippet and Cookie came in to your life. Both special gifts to treasure.

Thank you for your alternative thought. I have written it down for future use.

Hope you have had a good day and happy stumbling to you too

Lottie x

PS: Can switch to PM if you wish.