I have a partner of a decade (well an ex technically that I live with) who is extremely depressed and has checked out. He has su*cidal ideation but promises he would never do anything because it would kill his family. his father took his own life when he was a baby, so I feel there could be genetic components also to his MH. My life is fraught with worry and as someone who also struggles I know it is a sensitive topic to navigate with someone struggling. I have tried in so many ways to help for the last couple of years, by letting him know I am there and not forcing anything, by being soft and taking a step back, and then taking a more practical and upfront approach.
Nothing has helped, if anything he got worse, blamed me and became emotionally abusive. He isn't the best communicator and is emotionally immature. This isn't a dig. It's just factual. He resorts to passive-aggression to get his way, but I understand why he is like this (his past and neurodivergence). I respect that everyone isn't going to be as upfront with feelings and vulnerability and prefer to be of few words. I also understand you can't get anywhere with someone who communicates like this.
He was there for me in my darkest times and helped me stay afloat. I never wish this pain on anyone but he genuinely doesn't see any point in life. He hates people and existence, refuses to seek help and thinks it's all BS. He doesn't trust doctors. By nature his personality is on the other side of the spectrum than mine, I'd be more bubbly whereas he would be more dark and sardonic. It worked for a long while. As the years went on he became darker and my spark was getting drained. As a person, he is a kind soul and a hard worker, but weed addiction and his natural introversion along with bad health news with his parent was a melting pot for a breakdown. He fears exploding at someone at work so he is leaving. He wants to leave it all and disappear into a hole. I don't know what to do. Short of leaving him alone. My heart is shattered because I have no choice but to leave. (I can't leave ASAP because of financial restraints and a dog.) I still love him deeply and he is my best friend. I don't want to give up on him.
Every time he leaves I think he may not come back. I have had su*icide happen in my family and friend circle so it's triggering. He warned that if I contacted the doctors he would never speak to me again and kick me out. I don't think the docs would see it as an emergency anyway as they are pathetic here. He says there is no hope for him and he doesn't want it. His siblings aren't much help and don't seem to care. His mother isn't cognisant anymore. There is no support system. I relate that to that and I know I am not obligated to him and vice versa.
Anybody out there with some help, advice or kind words, I would much appreciate it. I don't know what to do.
