I don't know how to feel

[FoxTrap]

Like the title says, I don't know how to feel.My girlfriend and I split up. Let me just tell you all the whole story.

There was a rodeo on March 15th. She knew this in advance. Well, me, my sister, my son, and my nephew wanted to go. I asked her if she wanted to go and she said no. That was the day her husband had died 14 years earlier. I spent the whole day with her. Up until it was time to pick my son up from school. I again asked her to go to the rodeo with us. She again said no. So we went to the rodeo. I text her the whole time I was there.

So days pass. We have just came back home. We are walking in the house and I say this. My uncle invited us to his house for Easter, but they will all be sitting around drunk so that should be interesting.

Thats it. That's all I said. She flies off the handle, and starts throwing a fit. She told me that I should not have went to the rodeo and that I should have been there for her. I asked her what was I supposed to do, sit and watch her sleep for 15 hours? Because that's all she did was sleep, all the time, every day. But anyway.

She eventually tells me that we should just be friends. I agree with her. Now keep in mind that during our relationship all she wanted to do was sleep. Literally thats it. We would get up, I'd drink a cup of coffee and then she would make me lay in the bed with her all day. Every day. Anytime I wanted to go do something she was always to tired to even put her clothes on.

Fast forward to now. Now she is talking about she is going to have threesomes, start an OnlyFans, and basically whore around. Which upset me. Now she is going to bars and shooting pool and playing darts.

I talked to her all day yesterday, even while I was at the movies with my son. In my world we are working towards getting back together because we had spent the day before together and kissed and cuddled and went to dinner together.

Well unbeknownst to me, she is at a bar shooting pool. That doesn't bother me. What bothers me is we start fighting about how she is now. I tell her that it's funny that when we were together she couldn't even get out of the bed but now she can go to bars and do all the stuff I wanted us to do. I tell her that if she goes home with someone to make them wear a condom. She says, why? I didn't make you wear one. That hurt me so much. I mean so much. We haven't even been broken up a week yet. So I tell her that I have to get my son to bed and that if she wants to talk more to message me back. She never messaged me back. So I sent her this long email pouring my heart out and basically telling her goodbye.

So I don't know how to feel. Part of me is super upset because of what she is doing now, but another part of me is happy because of how overbearing she was.

I need someone to talk to.

Sorry this is so long.

[optimismrus]

I'm sorry you're hurting. You sound like a thoughtful man and from what you've shared it doesn't sound like she is healthy for you or your son. Consider what you want from a partner, you deserve someone who celebrates you and your boy. Wish this women well and get on with your life. 🥰

[Cookie2217]

It seems to me she is a very selfish girl and only wants to do things and go out when she's away from you. She seems to be very controlling towards you and only wants to be in bed all day with you and make you do the same. What kind of life is that? You have a son that you need to take care of and he comes first above and be all anything else. I think you did the right thing by sending her that email and telling her goodbye because you need to be with someone that treats you with respect honor and love and going out and taking someone home and having threesomes right after you broke up is not doing that she's only telling you these things so upset you and there's no reason for that you were good to her it seems always. You asked her to go to the rodeo more than once and she said no the point is you asked twice it was her decision not to go I know it was the anniversary of her husband's death but you can't help that you wanted to spend time with her and you did beforehand all day and then at night you asked her to join in the plans you had with your son and your family. You did nothing wrong. For Easter you asked her to go along with you to your uncle's house as well and she flipped out because she doesn't want to be a part of that and just wants to have you lay in bed with her all day and have a lazy holiday that's not fair to you. I hope my advice helps you see that you need to concentrate on you and your family and not be with someone who is so selfish. Good luck with everything wishing you peace and well-being.

[blackcat64013]

Hi Fortrap,How are you doing now?

I hope you are in a better headspace.

First off, can I say that you never have to apologise for a heartfelt post.

A week can be a good time away from an issue that is your girlfriend.

You have, in my opinion, worked out that your son and yourself are not deserving of such "reckless" behaviour.

Your values are important to you and shouldn't be compromised.

While I am no expert in mental health, has your girlfriend taken mood altering substances or maybe entered a manic phase of Bipolar?

No-one should think less of you if you stayed to get her some help or if you leave the relationship.