I was diagnosed last year March and it's been a hell ride.

[Tokyolightsjanuary]

Starting from the beginning, I've done a lot of self destruction in part due to MDD and unresolved childhood trauma. In April I tried getting closure from my emotionally abusive ex boyfriend from 2 years ago and it sent me down a horrible spiral of hell this year. He called me evil and I internalized the thought and made me question my whole existence. Just to clarify I'm not saying he caused my depression but he certainly didn't help it. I've always neglected my self care because I honestly have hated myself my whole life. I've let disgusting untrue rumors people spread about me affect me to the point of acting like someone I'm not. A good lesson that's come out of everything is the same old saying that no matter what you do in this world, people will find a reason to hate you. That's sadly comforting but liberating also because now I feel I can be myself completely. In addition, I've turned to spirituality and philosophy to help and it's honestly been so much better than anti-depressants and anxiety meds they had me on last year. Loving myself is gonna be a long journey but I accept it with open arms. I'm starting to learn detachment from negativity now. Good luck to everyone else surviving and I'm hoping for peace and love to everyone.