I feel like I am constantly in a state of hopelessness. I don’t even go through the motions of life anymore. I wallow in my bed and have no motivation for anything. I just feel like giving up but I’d feel so bad for my girlfriend and my family.
Slowly suffocating: I feel like I am... - Major Depressive ...
Slowly suffocating


I've had depression all my life, that's been decades, and it took a few decades to start getting some coping skill. My depression was exacerbated by CPTSD, addiction, and trauma, so all of those things were great issues to dwell on when already predisposed to the condition of depression. It's a chemical imbalance that some SSRI's, and various forms of therapy can help with, there is no cure. You don't have to need a reason to be depressed, you just are, your brain is to blame. This isn't your fault, you don't deserve this, and didn't cause it, it is what it is.
However...the mental injury from child abuse, abuse in general, PTSD, assault, and sudden trauma of other forms can also be helped with therapy to understand the root of these issues and help you put things into perspective and being guided by a professional can tremendously if you can find a good fit in a therapist.
Sorry you feel this way. I have to keep reaching out to new doctors, new psychiatrist looking for new meds. It's a constant battle but there are new treatments out there and combinations of treatments that work. Plus there are also over the counter antidepressants you can take that are very effective. And lots of life strategies. You don't say what you've already tried but I'm sure you've tried many things. There's always one more new treatment to try.
Same ...today in particular, I found it hard to get out of bed and have motivation for anything. Even after actively trying to find a reason.. I think you are lucky to have family and a friend that prevent things from getting worse for you.
I totally get how you feel. Identify with you and wonder when if ever I will ever feel happiness again this last bout of depression has lasted 3 years since before covid it's been the longest one of my life and the most trying. I suffer from MDD, PTSD and adjustment disorder and looking for people who are like-minded who can identify with me so I don't feel so alone anymore in the Darkness.