I'm isolated

I've been crying and I'm unbearably alone and I feel like I don't have friends anymore and I want a girlfriend so bad

[Mijmijkey74]

Do you though actually have friends that you see to hang out with or just friends online you don't see in person?Or just feel like you have no friends when you actually have got friends? Or do you actually have none? There is a difference. As for the wanting of a girlfriend.......well if she has depression or anxiety you have as much chance as anyone else in the same or similar boat of finding one, but a girlfriend whom isn't battling darkness probably won't understand your darkness well or at all like someone also battling it will. Seek out in person face to face support groups/activities for MDD or Depression. Support groups that actually contain people to interact with face to face. To get a girlfriend and keep hold of her there has to be a lot of understanding between you both, but it does involve actually venturing outside into the real world and not just searching online. Having a MDD does not make even normal everyday things easy. If you do actually have friends and do see them, do they understand you? Are they supportive and there for you? Are you likewise for them? Do you have family? If so can you talk to family about how you truly feel? I want a boyfriend/a husband but at 48 years old and not being a facially attractive woman no male I actually have attraction towards wants me, So I've given up looking, but haven't lost hope that maybe one day I will meet someone whom appricates, values, loves and actually finds me attractive. I have just one friend I see in person, she's much younger than me, and she doesn't get me in the way I need a friend to get me, but we have a few things in common such as depression/anxiety/and both like to just go for walks and not always talk, but able to talk about anything if we do want to do so. She will eventually move on away from me I know as she is much younger and I eventually will seem to old and decrepid decrepid for her to want friendship with me any longer and I will be back to having no friends to do anything with and completely alone 24/7 with only some friends online I never see but chat occasionally with online. I live alone, have depression and health issues unrelated to depression. Never been married, I get extremely lonely, I'm not in employment either, but do attend a group for people with all different kinds of problems, but they seem more troubled mentally than me, so no firm friendships have been formed from attending that group, but still I get the company of other people from that group and we do chat and do get each other in that group. I am going to start attending another group outside of my home town soon. I have to force myself to venture outside into the real world. Otherwise I would be staring at the walls inside my house alone 24/7. And that's not good for the mind or soul. Good luck in your search for what only you know you truly need/desire. x

[Hidden in reply to Mijmijkey74]

My friends are one sided and they not being there for me and I feel I have no friends because they barely talk to me and I feel stuck alone and I feel so disconnected and I really want to date but I'm having a hard time finding a girlfriend and it's making me feel hopeless because I want to achieve that

[jnelson66 in reply to Hidden]

Mijm: first off what an amazingly thoughtful response. Thanks for showing you care. I can tell you know the misery of this disease very well.

My two cents to add to this Travis is totally hear you. Your feelings, wants and desires are very real. It sucks to feel like you have no friends and have that desire for the girlfriend you can’t achieve right now.

I look at both of those as seeking an escape from the disease. Mine were oversleeping. Overeating etc. I wanted them because they made me feel better but feeking something different than the misery of the disease.

My point is if you can find a way to add relief from the disease the friends and girlfriend will follow. Focus on yourself. Focus on giving the middle finger to MDD. All that you are feeling right now is misery and feeling worse about yourself due to the friend and girlfriend. THAT is exactly what the disease wants to do. Crush your souls. Crush your self esteem. Don’t let it win.

Keep working with your psych on meds, do therapy, look for support groups, open up to family that can be empathetic. Research TMS or ECT. Try to find productive ways (not escape) for relief. I know it feels like a marathon doing any of these things but until you do and keep fighting life will remain miserable.

[Mijmijkey74 in reply to Hidden]

Join a gym or a sports club. It will make you feel a whole lot less hopeless. Though you you may attend already or ma'be can't afford the gym. Try to find clubs/groups to join that will teach you something to build up your confidence and self worth and destroy those hopeless feeling within you enough for them not to bother you anymore. You do though have to ignore some stupid people and think of yourself to gain more confidence. If your friends barely talk to you as yourself why and don't lie to yourself about the why. Do those friends have conditions/disorders depression that mean they don't communicate easily or open up for deeper conversation. Are they naturally quiet/reclusive/moody/aggressive/troubled/shy? Those are a few reasons they may not really talk much to you, but maybe do stuff instead with you. In what way are they one sided? Do you mean they want to do what they want to do, and expect you to go along with that, yet won't do what you want to do and dismiss your ideas, their way or no way type behaviour? Would they ditch you and expect you to be ok with that? Yet if you ditched them they would be up in arms about it and accuse you of being horrible or selfish and potentially unfriendly you, yet they do the same and don't expect you to do to them what they will or previously have done to you. Do your friends make you feel valued or useless and insignificant to them? Great if they make you feel valued and significant. Dump them if they treat you opposite and don't make you feel good inside yourself in any way as those types don't have problems or qualms about dumping friends whom they are done with at the drop of a hat. I hope it is that your friends just aren't talkative or very sociable types or do have disorders/conditions explaining perhaps why they don't really talk to you and it not that they are deliberately not talking to you intentionally. Or could it be they are talking to you, but because of how you are feeling it is making you not respond to your friends perhaps iin the same ways that you used to do, and now your friends talk less to you because you don't respond to them the same as you used to do, and they maybe feel awkward? If you all have depression then communication is going to drip rather than flow. The girlfriend will appear when you are not searching and are least expecting it. Work on yourself first, and to work on yourself first you do not need friends or a girlfriend to do so. It can be achieved in the surrounding of neew people , strangers, strangers whom may well become new friends. If you are in employment and not happy then maybe apply for new jobs that interest you. Look at your hair, get a new cut, look at your clothes, are they a bit or very out of date or are you very unusual that other people aren't wearing? Update wardrobe. Is your personal hygiene good? Do you brush your teeth regularly? How's your weight? Are you happy with it? If yes that's great, if no then start walking or cycling or swimming if able/able-bodied. Are your fingernails clean? Are your clothes clean? All these can be rectified and make us all feel better within ourselves. You may simply have outgrown your friends. That does happen. Also when friends start getting gf's/bf's/serious relationships/married/babies or are in employment and we have none of that happening it can be an extremely difficult time of life to go through, but it happens to people world over, and things do get better, but we have to put Inn effort of our own to find new friends along with keeping any old friends, and basically working to better ourselves to have attractive abilities. Write a list of things you can do, skills you have, no list of what you are useless at, just another list of things you are interested in, want to do or be better at, and make those lists come fully positively true about yourself on the what goods about you, what skills you have, what people like about you, make that list grow, but never become big headed, or arrogant and rude or you will lose . It won't all happen at once, it will be tiny steps and may take 6 months - 3 years, but how good about yourself you will feel. It won't be easy at all, and depression will definitely torment you just as it is now, but you need to over talk it, drown it out, kick it where it hurts. And no procrastinating/overthinking and it really doesn't matter what other people say or do, or if they stare or laugh or maybe are horrible. They have the problems, and you are working on you to improve yourself in every positive way that you want to do, it is for yourself and own benefit longer term and nothing to do with anyone else. Do not though do anything illegal or harmful to to others or yourself. How old are you? 20's/30's?