Going to try: Hi everyone I have not... - Fun Beyond 10K & ...

Fun Beyond 10K & Race Support

2,589 members7,707 posts

Going to try

paul1960 profile image
paul1960Marathon
17 Replies

Hi everyone I have not run since 19th March like you all no I sadly lost my wife but am going to try a small run on Monday my head is telling me to run but my heart is saying dont not yet it's been 9 weeks now and a anyone as gone through the same thing knows how hard it is I just cabt see a future without her its getting harder by the day am realy struggling no one will help until you have done at least 3months grieving so I just dont no how am going to do this

Written by
paul1960 profile image
paul1960
Marathon
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
17 Replies
Tasha99 profile image
Tasha99Marathon

Hi Paul. I think you should definitely try and go running. I haven’t been through what you have been though but I suffer from depression and anxiety and I find running the best possible medicine. I think if you get out and even just do a mile, you’ll certainly feel proud of yourself after. You could even do couch to 5k? Maybe you could start at week 3 or 4? Even just do one run in each week and move on? Something to motivate you. But run Paul. Please try it. Nothing’s going to stop the feeling of loss, but it can help you manage it.

roseabi profile image
roseabiUltramarathon

Paul, it could well really help you to get out for a run, and we will be running with you in spirit, you're not alone. Just a short one at first?

Have you had a look at Macmillan support? If not maybe give it a try, they have various ways of getting in touch with someone who will offer help and understanding:

macmillan.org.uk/cancer-inf....

xxx

Irishprincess profile image
IrishprincessAdministratorHalf Marathon

Paul, what about lacing up your running shoes and going out for a walk? Then when you feel like running you can break into it and perhaps try a combination of walk/run to begin with.

If you don’t feel like running then don’t but I bet once you have your shoes on you will.

We’re thinking of you and know you can do it 👍

nowster profile image
nowsterMetric Marathon

A change of scenery may help. Just being outside in the sunshine can lift the spirits a bit. Maybe simply start with a walk in the hills?

As to assistance, has your GP been any help? That three month thing sounds totally wrong to me.

Sandraj39 profile image
Sandraj39Half Marathon

Hi Paul, I agree with the replies above - why not try a short run and see how it goes? As roseabi says, we are thinking of you on here and I really believe that a small run might (even for a short while) give you some respite from all you are going through. Take care x

Jericho2332 profile image
Jericho2332Half Marathon

So sorry for your loss X I agree with Tasha, as somebody who's suffered with anxiety and depression for a massive part of my life and tried every concoction of anti depressants, anti psychotic, mood stabilizers etc... I can honestly say running has been the best medication I've found. Of course it won't take the pain away but it will help X that's twice in 2 days this site had made me well up with tears, we are all with you x

linda9389 profile image
linda9389AdministratorMarathon

Listen to your head. Try to run. Not too far, not too fast. Take us all with you. Go somewhere you used to love, immerse yourself in nature. It is so good for the soul and may just help you, even if just for a short while. I do hope so.

Decker profile image
DeckerUltramarathon

Hey Paul, maybe give it 20 minutes of run time? Sometimes that inertia gangs up on you and you have to kick it back a little just to see the light again. We’re with you mate whatever you choose to do.

cheekychipmunks profile image
cheekychipmunksHalf Marathon

Oh Paul, I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this has been for you. You’ve been through so much.

I’ve lost elderly parents - dad in 2013 and mum in 2019 - and that was hard enough. Losing someone before their time must be horrendous. However hard it is, you have a life to live. Obviously you’ll have your wife’s memory in your heart every day, but surely she’d want you to carry on doing what you loved - including your amazing running. Think how far you ran ..... you want to be that person again don’t you? 🥰🏃‍♂️

Baby steps at first, but get back out there and do it for you and your wife. Dedicate runs to her.

We’ll all be hear to encourage you Paul.

Take care of yourself. Xx

Oldfloss profile image
OldflossAdministrator

Paul..it is going to be hard..but you know, you are here amongst friends. You have made a start.

Maybe a longer walk with your little dog and then try a very gentle run...would your son go with you, the first time?Small steps...and as roseabi says, we will all be there with you xxx

SkiMonday profile image
SkiMondayUltramarathon

Hope it goes well on Monday and helps you cope with your loss.

GoGo_JoJo profile image
GoGo_JoJoUltramarathon

Do what you feel is right for you.

Definitely consider talking to mcmillan or someone, here's a link to cruse bereavement counselling I think the helpline is free. If no joy there remember the Samaritans are always there, you don't have to be in a bad place. They're lovely people.

cruse.org.uk/get-help

Couchpotato2 profile image
Couchpotato2Marathon

Sorry for your loss Paul. Put your running gear on, go for a walk in it ans you might end up running. You are very brave. We are right beside you cheering you on

Sparkey5000 profile image
Sparkey5000

Step one reach out for help…..✅ cliched but take a day at a time. A small run would be a huge achievement…good focus….hope you do it….won’t matter how far you go, just getting your gear on is a big win. It’s a truly terrible time for you…glad you are keeping in touch with us…always here for a virtual hug or kick up the backside depending which you want today 😊

misswobble profile image
misswobbleMarathon

I agree with the comments about going for a run 🙂. Just lace up those shoes and go. I believe it will be good for you Slow jog about the place, or drive to somewhere fresh perhaps, for new views 🙂

There’s no pressure to do anything of course but getting out will make you feel better I’m sure. You need to stay well 🙂.

We’ll be there with you🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️ I’m setting off in a minute and will think about you and send positive thoughts your way 👍

Curlygurly2 profile image
Curlygurly2Half Marathon

Oh Paul, I am so sorry to hear your news. You'll know when it's time to run again. I think what I would do is start again at the beginning, redo C25K.

We're all sending you love...

Deals1 profile image
Deals1Metric Marathon

So sorry to read this Paul.. ♥️. You've already had great advice. Just look after yourself and take care.

You may also like...

Going to try “Go as I please.”

helping family.Have not run for 6 weeks. I tried to keep up with some running/walking and...

I'm going to give it a go! HM

helped me get from no running in December to just finishing my first 10k official run yesterday! I...

Keep going in December- How is it going?

could be run 2-3 times a week, make sure I go out at least once a week, At least e long runs over...

Go for it?

refund for the Brighton marathon. I can defer up until the 16th April but I could transfer to the...

The one that didn’t go to plan

long runs recently. Having lost the love for runs over 10-11 miles, and focussing on my zone 3 runs...