Feeling sorry for myself

Tonight I was supposed to go to a party and stay over at a hotel but my headache is the worse tonight than its been for last few weeks,I feel sick (was throwing up last night) and my vision has been off all week. I ummed and arred for nearly an hour before agreeing that it was better for my husband to go alone and I'd stay home. Feel bad as is my sister in laws party and lots of family going etc. I dont normally feel sorry for myself I usually pick myself up smile an get on with it but tonight for some reason I can't put a happy face on. I'm also diabetic and have no idea why but my blood sugar is really high too.

Sorry don't know why Ive posted this guess that I know that everyone on here will understand but it feels like the rest of he world look at me and see a smiling person and don't get how bad I feel sometimes.

On way home from work and even now I feel like I want to go to hospital don't know why I feel like this even my eyes are sore and the are watering and not from crying as I'm not doing that, my whole body feels so tired likes it's hard to move.

Sorry folks I don't want to bring anyone else down but at least in using my brain and on finger.

Louise

3 Replies

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  • It's o.k. That's what were here for. Sometimes you just need to rant, we all have been there done that. I understand about those headaches. I had one 99% of the time during the time period of Jan 5, 2012 to March 19 that WORE ME OUT. Had me nauseaded to and couldnt go to sleep becaused it hurt so bad and when I did go, it woke me up

    They had put me on a heart medication (had a mild heart attack in Nov 2011 and in Jan was told I have 60% blockage. The presc was called Imdur. They took me off of it and some of my other lupie family stated that flexril was the only thing that helped, prior to the flez I took excedrin bt they had them on recall in Ohio.

    I passed that info onto my doctor who gave me a presc. About two days later my headache disapeared. Maybe you can try the flexril. Hope you find relief.

  • Hi Louise. There are some days when we just can't fake feeling well or force a smile no matter how bad we'd like to. When I'm feeling that way I don't like to be around others because they might misinterpret or minimize how I'm feeling. It took time for the people in my own household to know that my not smiling doesn't mean that I'm upset with you. It just means that I'm not feeling well. People not close to us just don't understand everything that goes along with lupus. I don't subject myself to that unnecessarily by going out when I don't feel up to it. When I'm not feeling well the last thing I want to hear is, "aren't you having fun?" I'd rather stay home and enjoy my "alone time".

    Bad headaches? Those are rough! I used to get very bad headaches almost every day. I started on plaquenil about 3 weeks ago. It's really cut down on the severity of my headaches and muscle aches. I've only gotten about 3 minor headaches since starting plaquenil.

    As far as being tired goes I still struggle with that. It used to get so bad that I'd feel like I was being pulled down by quicksand. I even went to my car on my lunch break at work to take a nap recently. I slept for an hour and was able to finish the days work. I'm sure something like that seems extremely unfair to those that have no idea what it feels like to have lupus.

    Louise hang in there. Many days I feel like I just can't deal with this another day. It's exhausting! This lupus site is here for all of us to offer support and understanding because we're all in this together.

  • Thank you both for your support feel a bit of a wuss today for having a moan but like you say we can't smie and fake it all the time. I'm going to look into the meds you have both mentioned.

    Thanks again and hope you can enjoy the weekend.

    Louise xx

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