Thought I'd share a pick of lil' Milo who has decided she wants to live in my jacket permanently. 😂
Rough time at the moment still, and many others have it similar or worse. I've only got a couple of weeks left working in emergency before I trade it in for a while in neonatal intensive care. Boy I must like a challenge. It'll be a very different ball game.
In the meanwhile, I've had some annual leave, in part, because work thought I wasn't really well of late. But I can't just wait to get better as I say, because that won't happen, I just have to soldier on. Little Milo 😍 is going to help cheer me up I'm sure.
Im in limbo as both rheumatology and neurology have passed me up North now. Still in wait for my AZA for the last two months though. At least I have got my antiepileptics this week. 🎉 But couldn't risk going on holiday with my friends so been keeping indoors mainly.
There's one GP, who at least is trying a bit, after all others gave up as per usual. The problem is there is always so much sickness going on it's hard to make sense of what's what. I'm on an urgent cancer pathway now, which I am doing my best to distract myself. Again what's lupus and what's something else is always anyone's guess.
I've picked myself up a little this week. I know it sounds stupid but I get a bit stuck feeling like I am such a screw up and failure. I know it's wrapped in family still refusing to accept my diagnoses and still shaming and guilt tripping me in many ways. I am trying to escape mentally from that, but it's hard to persevere and not give in to bad coping mechanisms and let the haters win.
But I have Milo, I have Hunter (my wee dog), and work which are all positive and I feel very grateful for. And hopefully I'll get some more answers soon. In the meantime, keep helping people get the answers they deserve in emergency.
Bless you all and have a good week,
Lottie xxxx
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LottieLou96
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Hi lottie I’m so sorry your having a bad time at the moment - I’m sure your new gorgeous little kitten will bring you come comfort - how does she get on with your dog ? Big hugs to you 🤗🤗❤️
Milo is beautiful Lottie. Animals are so wonderful at cheering us up without trying. Their unconditional love warms your heart. I am so very sorry that you have such negativity from your family. I do hope in time they will come to an understanding of what you are going through. Xxx
Yeah, I can hope my family do find some understanding of me as a person and what I'm going through, but I don't think they will. So for now, I'm just going to park it, and focus on better things, people, and show my lil furbabies some more love. ❤️
Lottie I have been on several urgent cancer pathways of late When I had urinary CT, then when I had bigger CT and now with ocular oncology after recent OCT...I worried I had melanoma in my eye, and they are still not sure what the lesion is after three visits within a few weeks. Actually the MRI just ordered is a within 3 days referral..but I'm delaying after flaring with the weather ...and the yellow and green angiograms - still affecting eyes.
I'm now riding things better. These pathways are really being used at the mo I think.
It will be interesting to know percentage that are positive..compared to pre-pandemic.
Hope everything goes well. Familywise some of nearest and dearest still don't understand. You are finding some good solutions (I have copied you on the therapy ..). You are even bringing a cat and dog together in your family, symbolises something ❤️ 🏆 Hunter is so adorable, Milo is so lovely and you are a star ⭐💐🍰🐶🐱
I'm glad you've got some therapy started too. It's really difficult to break some of the long standing habits and habitual guilt and poor coping mechanisms, all that come when your not really supported. Haha, I said my peace the other day, which felt good, but feeling it with the lupus, I'm so stuff at work today lol.
Sorry to hear you've been down a few cancer pathways of late. It's the waiting and lack of people telling me things that gets to me. As a HCP I like to see these things for myself and be involved with decisions and get things sorted asap.
Thanks for your support and yeah 😉 Milo is so cheeky, honestly I think Hunter and Milo are competing haha.
You've had a crazy while with everything and all these scans SC hopefully nothing untoward and they get to the route of things.
Ah bless. I think Hunter and Milo are competing at the mo. .. bit unsure of getting attention etc, but I think they could become the best of mates in the long run 🐱💗🐶
Ditto on:"It's the waiting and lack of people telling me things that gets to me"
I have medical sciences based degree so am a bit in the same boat.
I'm now emailing ahead of appointments, so my queries are answered in my slot (and extra tests / referrals then made).
Before I emailed after and did not hear back because people on leave etc. I think only one person is assigned, and others don't cover. It is more compartmentalised than I thought.
I try to remember to ask for copies of images I'm shown but often forget.
Love the photo of sweet Milo. I hope family comes around to your reality. Jeez! If they only knew! Here’s hoping there is a silver lining to the NICU dept. We press on because we must! ✨💐💕D🏃🏽♀️
Definitely! We keep going. Honestly, it's crazy they can't come around to reason even when it's in solid documented proof, ah well. But NICU should be great fingers crossed 🤞🤞 thanks D ❤️🩹, I shall always care, but they are my past, and well this big ol' world is my future. So got help peeps whilst I can x
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