burden

[Louiser18]

Who else feels like a burden to there family and feel like they can't speak to them

[HazelW]

If you just speak to your family I'm sure you'll find that you are NOT a burden !!

[Flueby]

Hi...yes it's a horrible feeling. I am embarrassed to always b the ill one and tend not to tell anyone. That's why this forum is a great place to speak to people who r in the same position and understand. Ask yourself "if it were a friend or family member with this would I think them a burden?"...the answer would b "no" and .u would want to help and support them. Those who don't choose to understand r not really worth worrying about...but we all do!! I am sure u have helped many friends and family over the years and they will want to support u...let them. Take care x

[Louiser18 in reply to Flueby]

Xx

[JanW]

Hi Louiser,I'm a great beliver in communication, its the key to unlock anything so just talk to your family starting with the one you are closest to. I feel sure you will find they don't see you as a burden and they could be privately worried about you. Good luck and Merry Christmas.

[Louiser18 in reply to JanW]

Merry Christmas, thank you

[whisperit]

Yes indeedy. It's a horrible feeling. But maybe remind yourself that it's the illness that is the burden, not you. And aren't you carrying the lion's share of it? No matter how annoying or inconvenient it might be for them, it is you that is really carrying that burden, every day, all the time. And you are doing everything you can to make sure no-one else suffers because of it. So be kind to yourself, and allow yourself to enjoy your life as much as you can x

[Krazykat26]

When I was very ill I pushed my family away because I didn't want to worry them..it was the wrong thing for me to do because they became more worried!!! I have spoken to my family since and they have all said that they prefer me being honest about how I am feeling so that they can try to help me ..bless em!! These are my grandsons as well saying this!!

So now I'm more open when they ask how I am..and they do ask but I think it's better that they know what's happening otherwise they worry themselves even more..one of my grandsons thought I had cancer!!

U can download the spoon theory which is very informative and simple to understand by people who don't have lupus to get an idea of what it's like for us living with chronic illnesses. The other thing is that usually people get sick and then recover..but with us it's totally different and every day we have to check how many spoons are available to us in order to get through the day safely 🤞we can't overdo it or else!!!

I'm not that cyber savvy but if u Google spoon theory u should find it..have a look n see if u think it might help!! It's a woman called Christine..can't remember her surname right now..sorry!!

Good luck xx

[Shorthouse]

I do feel like a burden ,but only because I can’t do as much as I used to.lucky for me I can talk to them.you can’t help what’s happening to you ,talk to me anytime.xx