It’s Christmas time. A time for miracles. A time, I stubbornly insisted, for a real Christmas tree. ‘But the needles,’ my mother said. ‘The mess...’
And even so, she relented.
Just a small one...
Well, actually... in the end... we got two. One a nice normal-ish size... she was very fluffy when she came out of her netting as though to say, ‘Here I am! Ta-dah!’ And also a very tiny little fir, you almost have to squint to see her. Except she is a bright green and also had a bit of an air about her, something delightful. Too small really for the decorations I have laden her with - two serious mice (occasionally sad, in a certain light), one smiley mouse and a deer... which arrived from my wonderful friend Meme in Australia. A friend who also has a host of co morbidities, like the rest of us.
Co-morbidities. I am imagining them arm in arm, year after year having to make room for a new one, or several new ones. Do they roll their eyes when a new department gets involved, bustling into the frame? ‘Make way, make way!’ say Vasculitis and Neuropathy, while Lymphedema and Hypothyroidism bristle. ‘We’ve been here all this time... don’t you try to take over!’ Meanwhile tachycardia and fever just stay small and quiet, because nothing can make them feel less than important. They are the Harbingers, the Bell Ringers of Doom.
I say that... but we are supposed to thank pain, thank swelling, thank these harbingers, which are the reminders of our body’s needs. If you are in pain, then you are alive, said a friend of mine to me once. He has Parkinson’s and was a fount of hard-earned wisdom. I have always tried to follow his advice. Or at the very least, remember it.
For me, this past year has been very ‘triggering’ as they say. But I think we are all triggered almost continuously? Constant barrage of televised, radio-ised, internet-ised streams of all the desperate stories of our lives across the globe, stories of politicians not really seeming to care, and also stories of people doing wonderfully well with incredible achievements – seemingly superhuman achievements. And some of those extraordinary achievers are people with illness. Take Mary Frey, of The Frey Life channel on YouTube. She has cystic fibrosis and an incredibly inspired following. Or Molly Burke, who is a blind YouTuber and motivational speaker who also has a hugely inspired following. And then of course there is Selena Gomez who extended the miracle of her kidney transplant story by sharing it with the public. I am sure you too had friends sending you the viral clips of Selena’s story?
What we rarely hear about are the ordinary folk, you and me, getting by on our own rations of kindness, compassion, courage and fortitude for ourselves and those around us. I believe we need the simple stories to nourish us, to withstand the daily onslaughts of global and internal suffering.
So here we are this Christmas time… and my wish is a simple one. That you feel nourished as this year draws to a close, and that somehow, in some small ways, the miracle finds you and those you love and so spreads on, and on, outwards.
With love,
Shaista
Living with someone with Lupus
My friend got drunk and told me that she thinks I just make it all up .. the fatigue, etc ..
What sort of Christmas are you planning?
Merry Christmas from Mira 🐶
