Feeling low

Feel so low right now have so much going on at the moment not sure how to cope how do others deal with feeling like this I'm litterally at breaking point

[whisperit]

Hello emma32xx

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Did you see the thread on depression a few days ago? It's got some ideas, including Chanpreet's link to the LupusUK advice on coping with low mood and anxiety - scroll down the replies and you will find it healthunlocked.com/lupusuk/...

I think I've broken several times in the last few years....I've no answers, but sending lots of good wishes and a virtual hug x

[Ianrussell69]

I would like to say there are ups and downs but mostly downs my wife is a massive support and keeps me on the up well the tramadol helps🤭🤣no but honestly if you can get your Meds sorted ie hydroxy methatrexate and pain Meds that suits you and can take long term it dose honestly get better with just the odd blip but if you have a supportive partner your halfway there hope you feel a lot better soon. It sounds insensitive but my family tell me to get my head out my bum it works for me although to uther people it dose sound callous but the banter works with me

[SHEILWEIL]

Hi Emma32xx,

I'm sorry that your having a very difficult time. I wish that I could make you feel better. We all have days, months, years of this rest when your body tells you, I nap or watch something that interests me, read mostly medical articles. I'm 55 and have been trying to find a way to keep my spirits up for 20 yrs. You will have all the emotions of grief. It's frustrating and most people don't understand. Remember it too shall pass...

I find talking to someone else who understands can make a big difference, I have finally found that I enjoy spending time alone and together with my two furbabies. More love than anyone else can give you and its unconditional.

It seems like the flares will never pass, but they will. The gentleman that talked about medications for inflammation and Lupus along with controlling your pain is absolutely correct. Well, that's what works for me. Don't pay to the people that don't understand. They either are to lazy to Google or to ignorant to understand.

Wishing you the best,

Sybil

[honeybug]

Hi Emma

I’m sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time.

All of us who have chronic incurable conditions suffer from difficulty coping at times. If you have been very blue or down for a while it would be wise to seek a doctor to help you get through this rough patch.

Be sure to take written medical proof of your condition(s) and your current medicine list doses and instructions to the depression consult.

Find someone to talk to family close friend

You can always connect with others as you are doing here who are happy to encourage you as well as help however they can.

Don’t give up. There are a lot of wonderful people in the world and you are one of them.

While I cannot be there with you in person I am sending you a warm cyber hug with love.

Best wishes. 😊🌸

[MsAndyIvy]

As a long term sufferer from depression I’d suggest:

A. Don’t feel guilty about it. Acknowledge how you feel and allow yourself to feel this way. It’s perfectly normally.

B. Talk to people and tell them how you are feeling, there are lots of helplines you can use confidentially and you’ll be surprised how many friends and family will sympathise and help. The taboo is not there as much any more.

C. Go to your GP. You wouldn’t walk on an untreated broken leg. The sooner you seek help the better.

D. Depending on how low you are, you can ‘snap’ yourself out of it but sometimes you need to listen to your body and if you feel like you have to let yourself ‘go’ then this is what you have to do before getting better.

My depression is a black hole. It’s always there and mainly in the distance but It can draw closer to me. Sometimes by using mindfulness, meditation and doing things I enjoy I can keep it at bay. Other times it’s draw is too strong and I find myself on the rim battling to stay upright. The strength it takes to do this is draining and whilst I can battle it for a while in the end I always end up sliding down the slope to the bottom. I’ve learnt over time that sometimes the best place to be and the place I NEED to be to get better is the bottom of this hole. It’s where I heal. Battling for too long makes me worse in the long run. My time in ‘the hole’ is a lot shorter when I acknowledge this, for me, battling extends the period of time it takes to recover.

Depression is very personal, you may be very different.

P.s. I also find a bloody good cry helps too.

Much love x

[honeybug in reply to MsAndyIvy]

Hi MsAndyIvy

Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry you have such a battle with this dark place. It runs in my family. I am never ashamed because it is part my whole being. Some people are strong enough to get through it while others have to have help.

You/we are all worthy of living the best life we can.

I hope you have more good days than bad for the rest of your life.

Sending hugs and love.

😊🌸

[MsAndyIvy in reply to honeybug]

Thanks Honeybun!

I do have more good than bad. I get over it much quicker and my episodes are much much farther apart since acknowledging my depression.

Xx

[honeybug in reply to MsAndyIvy]

I’m so glad. Wishing you all things good.

XX

😊🌸

[puffyface]

Hi Emma. Hope you're feeling a bit better this morning and just wanted to send you a hug. It's horrid sometimes. Do you have someone you can talk to? I'm going to see a naturopath nutritionist today in the hope of help. It's ridiculous. It's taken me 6 months to get the appointment, is 4 hours from home...and I suspect might bankrupt me. Anything to feel a bit better! Maybe I'll come home a vegan! I hope you have a better day. Lx

[Melba1]

So sorry you’re feeling like this, it can be very hard to remain positive when we have these diseases that change our lives so much.

When I feel like that I try and remember that it will get better. Getting on the right medication will help over time and also remembering to be kind to yourself and not keep fighting it - especially the fatigue. I have really struggled with this aspect and trying to meet other people’s expectations and tried to do what I used to be able to do. I feel SO much better for finally accepting that I just can’t and that by resting I’ll then be setting my body up for a better day soon. Soon doesn’t always come quickly enough but you will have better days. Educating our friends and families really helps too as it’s very difficult for them to understand. My family didn’t used to be great, always left me to carry on until I physically and mentally just couldn’t. My husband used to get impatient if I was tired and had left some of ‘my’ jobs (pretty much everything to do with house and kids!) to him, my dad would laugh and say ‘you’re not in bed again are you?!’, my friends would get fed up with me cancelling things and ask why ‘you’re still ill’ etc etc. Things have changed a lot partly because I finally got to the point where it just felt so wrong and unfair to just keep patiently doing my best with the lack of understanding. So rather than underplaying it I told my friends how hard things were sometimes and that for the rest of my life I would have to cancel things at the last minute and that yes - it will almost certainly be ‘the lupus again’ because it’s not curable! I told them it was a life changing sometimes life threatening disease and gave them the statistics. Some of them cried and said they hadn’t realised because I always make a joke of it. My husband came with me to my rheumatologist and was told how serious it is and he was able to ask questions and feel involved and is much better and more helpful now. I told people the ‘spoon theory’ My children take the mickey but will tell each other to be helpful (or not too loud and annoying 🙄😂) or ‘we’ll use up mum’s spoons’!

Like Ian says if people help and understand, it can feel much easier to cope with. I hope you can get your friends and family to help you through this and we’re here and have been through similar so do understand how tough it can be.

Do you have a good GP/ rheumatologist? I’d tell them how you feel, mentally as well as physically. Some of us put on a brave face at appointments but it’s important they know how bad we feel sometimes so they can help.

If it’s any comfort I felt awful a few months ago, like there really was little point to living when I could only get out of bed for a couple of hours a day and felt the disease had made me a bad wife, mother, daughter, friend etc. BUT the last few weeks the disease has finally gone much quieter and my life is much more ‘normal ‘ again. Your period of feeling much better might just be around the corner too.

Lots of love to you

Xx

[Sara_A]

If there is something in particular that’s causing you so much upset and stress is there any way of reducing or removing that factor temporarily?? Ie work? I’ve just reduced my hours which has taken a load off.

Have u seen ur gp? I was at a similar point a few wks ago and discussed changing my antidepressant but then realised I was just starting with a flare and increased my steroids instead which helped.

U need to try and stop and look at the situation and see what can be done to help things.

Please don’t keep going as u are, I was just like this a few wks ago I posted about it and I now feel able to try advise u!! I was crying at every little thing and ready to give up.

So my advice is can anything change?? Even just a little x

[Hidden in reply to Sara_A]

Things can definitely change hun but tbh I'm scared its really complicated x

[Paul_Howard Partner LUPUS UK]

Hi Hidden ,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so low at the moment. Have you spoken with your doctor to let them know that you are struggling and to see whether they are able to offer any additional support?

We have an article on our website about coping with depression and anxiety which has some information you may find helpful - lupusuk.org.uk/coping-with-...

If you would like someone understanding to talk to, we have a network of trained volunteer telephone contacts. Just let me know and I would be happy to provide you with more information.

[Hidden]

Hi I'm so sorry for late reply iv had so much going on I just feel so low about myself and feel like I'm not good enough! I'm sick and tired of feeling low just feeling like I can't cope anymore life can be so hard x

[Sara_A in reply to Hidden]

Are u on anything for ur mood?? I know some people hate taking stuff for it but sometimes u just have to.

I’ve been on fluoxetine for many yrs and even had to re start it during pregnancy as just could not function or cope without it. I’ve kind of accepted that I actually just need something to keep me on an even keel! I am a bit of a worrier and stress head.

So there’s nothing wrong in asking for something to either just help u out of this blip or something to ‘maintain u’ like I do.

I think u sometimes have to think what’s making u unhappy or low and try change it or remove it, obviously illness is not that easy, we all wish we could remove it!! But u have to think right I’ve got to do something now, it cannot go on like this.

Do u get much support and understanding from people around u? I think maybe u have mentioned before that people around u don’t get it??