Overdoing it.....will I ever learn!!??!!! - LUPUS UK

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Overdoing it.....will I ever learn!!??!!!

Sara_A profile image
23 Replies

So yesterday I felt ok to do a little bit of gardening/weeding, nothing mega strenuous as I have to sit on the floor to do it anyway.

Well....today I feel like I’ve been beaten up with a baseball bat then hit by a bus and then reversed over by the bus!!

I really didn’t think I’d overdone it probably only did an hour out there just using hand trowel and hand fork.

Today am good for nothing and am home with the 2 little ones all day without Dad!!

Why do I do it!?!!!! I’m only 39yrs, my head wants to do these things but I seriously pay for it afterwards as my body just does not like it.

What are we supposed to do just sit there and do nothing! Am fed up as cannot even consider even doing the washing up yet! Gonna take til lunchtime before I can even do that 😩

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Sara_A profile image
Sara_A
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23 Replies
lisa___s profile image
lisa___s

I have feel for you, it’s so annoying isn’t. You just want to be able to do one little thing and then you pay for it.

Then I feel masses of guilt cause I’m wiped out and home alone with my little girl who just wants to do things and I’m too tired. I’ve tried to explain to her but there’s only so much a six year old can understand.

If I were you right now I just tell myself to sod the washing up, who cares. No one can see except you and the kids and they don’t care.

Just relax, set the kids some fun activities from the comfort of the sofa. Tell them Mum is not feeling great and can they help you today.

Hope this helps and you feel better x

Sara_A profile image
Sara_A in reply tolisa___s

I feel like a wet lettuce!! I keep dozing with them on me then they start fighting over what’s on tv as 2 yr old only wants Peppa Pig!! And 5 yr old doesn’t!

2yr old appears to have got out of bed on wrong side today she’s pretty cranky and kicking off at anything and everything! 😭😭😭😩😩

God I hate this feeling, like a sack of potatoes!!

Thanks for ur reply hope u are having a better day!?

5 yr old wants to go to park but to me that’s like climbing Everest at this moment in time!

lisa___s profile image
lisa___s in reply toSara_A

I know that feeling, there’s been days were I dread those words ‘ mummy can you take me to the park’

I’ve just sat with Emma and drawn a plan for the day. It’s all simple things but now she feels busy and occupied and it’s all quite effortless for me lol

One of them is a bug hunt in the garden which means slowly walking round till we see something and then sitting at the garden table to draw and write what we’ve seen. She’s so excited xx

Sara_A profile image
Sara_A in reply tolisa___s

That’s a great idea! U sound like a fab mummy! I think mine would love that too. I’m aiminig for the garden this aft, they have a play house so are fairly easy to occupy out there and love it x

HeKe profile image
HeKe

Oh Sara! I too feel like I've been hit by a bus 🚌. I decided that I should do a dressage test on my pony today. I rode gently on Wednesday and Thursday, plodding round the hills. Yesterday I did proper riding and practised my test. I then bathed Nora and cleaned my tack. I woke up this morning with crazy joints, burning muscles and wobbling insides. I've hauled myself out of bed just now and tried to hang washing out but I had to take it out in three loads because I couldn't lift the basket. Even stretching up to peg out my hub's boxers made my muscles burn. Needless to say, I'm not going to the dressage competition which is very much a first world problem!

I do hope you manage to get through the day. It's a beast of an illness.

H xxx

HedgeEnd profile image
HedgeEnd in reply toHeKe

I know the feeling. Did a 10 mile fun ride yesterday and now I don't think I'll be riding for a while. Hurt everywhere and feel like I ran the 10 miles on foot rather than a plod round with a couple of short trots/canters. Got a bit of an upset tummy too - don't think my body is happy with me! And I find hanging out washing is one of the worst jobs at the best of times as it hurts your arms so much. Not sure if I have lupus or not yet as currently diagnosed with fibro, but have a high positive ana so who knows.

Sara_A profile image
Sara_A in reply toHedgeEnd

Goodness! Couldn’t even get on a horse so well done!! I remember from years ago horse riding and how u used to ache like mad after, that was when I wasn’t even unwell!

I stupidly used the strimmer earlier, had to wear both hand/wrist splints, came in and my hands were shaking and puffy and in pain. I just can’t flipping help myself or stop myself from doing things! And I still want to do more!! But can’t!

HedgeEnd profile image
HedgeEnd in reply toSara_A

I think horse riding is like any activity. If it is something you have done for years and years it's not so bad as it would be if you hadn't ridden for a long time. Also, well done for strimming. That would really make my arms hurt and I also get shaky when I do too much. I know exactly how you feel about doing things when you really shouldn't. We really don't help ourselves, but there again you can feel rubbish when you do nothing too so we can't win!

HeKe profile image
HeKe in reply toHedgeEnd

Well done on the 10 miles! Is the gain worth the pain? I would think so. You've got to have some pleasures. I'm going to try to do the test next week instead.

HedgeEnd profile image
HedgeEnd in reply toHeKe

Good luck with the test. The gain was indeed worth the pain. And, as you say, you have to have some pleasures. Had to get my daughter to help me muck out the and empty the wheelbarrow yesterday as my body said no!

popsmith1874 profile image
popsmith1874

I take my hat off to yous mothers plus trying to cope with young children and also coping with this disease, I'm a grandad to 4 little amazing kids and my wife and I watch them 2 a week but I come home sometimes when they get cranky as the girning goes right through me but I know you can't do that as a parent and I salute yous xxx

Sara_A profile image
Sara_A

It’s hard when u really want to do something but ur body is saying otherwise!! I’ve always been someone that likes to get on with things and don’t like sitting about hence I then over do it. I make myself sit down for ‘10’ mins, which only ends up being 1-2 mins and I’m up again! Either for the kids or to do a quick job.

It’s a lovely day and all I want to do is take the kids out in the sunshine yet I feel like I’ve got lead weight on my legs stopping me. Will keep trying!

lisa___s profile image
lisa___s

Sara_A I hope you feel better, maybe just have a movie day with the kids. There’s always tomorrow to get outside with them 😊 xx

Sara_A profile image
Sara_A

Do u have friends that offer to help you? And do u ever take them up on the offer?? I have friends that offer but I never really feel like I can call upon them as they all have kids themselves and lives of their own.

I’m lucky that a have a great supportive partner that does a lot of the care when he’s home so can’t complain.

Whereabouts are u from? You’ve prob said but my aps memory isn’t great!!

Cas70 profile image
Cas70

I am much older and regret my limited energy so I feel so sad for you youngsters. Drop the guilt - think of it as broken leg - you wouldn’t have the guilt then would you? My Osteopath told me to buy a kneeling gadget for the garden and do it in short burst of 15 mins. It helped. Good luck

Sara_A profile image
Sara_A

Well I got the kids outside today but then started weeding the patio!! I just can’t sit looking at stuff that needs doing, it’s my own fault I know. I sit on a bag on the floor.

Will no doubt pay for it later or tomorrow !

Ianrussell69 profile image
Ianrussell69

If you are like me you won’t learn you will keep on overdoing it !

Ah Sara_A, been there myself (minus the kiddies). You’re doing so well in not wanting to give up 👏👏. Like yourself, I sit on the ground and use hand tools for gentle gardening. On Wednesday, I got stuck on the lawn and had to text a friend to come to the rescue! 🤦🏻‍♀️ That was after about only half an hour...but I’d also done some in the morning. My knees still haven’t forgiven me; but I’ll do the same again when I can. I’ll just remember to take a chair outside and move it around the garden with me! It’s all about finding what works for you. Bravo to all you parents. And don’t forget the sun block!! 😎

Sara_A profile image
Sara_A

Well I took an extra zomorph at bedtime last night in preparation for feeling awful today, it’s taken the edge off. Am still straight out of bed and into my hand/wrist splints but can at least move!! It’s a lovely day again today but partner is home so I can at least ‘try’ and stand back a little and let someone else do the hard work,yeah right!!

annmoran1944 profile image
annmoran1944

Hi Sara. I Do so understand your plight. I have lived with SLE for many years and have to miss out on so many things because of the chronic fatigue. It is unbelievably frustrating I know but you HAVE to pace yourself. I just missed out on a trip to the Houses of Parliament knowing that I would not cope with the coach trip there and back to London, the walking and the standing around. At 39 Sara it is far more difficult to pace yourself than it is for me at 73. My heart goes out to you but I take life in smaller chunks I.e. one day at a time. Hope you are having a better day today. Gabs.

Cann profile image
Cann

I know just what you mean - a previous GP said to me - 'Your battery just runs out!' That is a good way to describe it, I feel. You are far from alone.

0EmilyWanamaker0 profile image
0EmilyWanamaker0

I think that anyone who can do really anything when you are dealing with so much. For me, all it takes is me being outside in the sun for a few minutes for me to be faint, then with my dancing I also feel like I've been hit with a bat. Hope you feel better. *sending virtual hugs*

falling2peices profile image
falling2peices

Sounds all to familiar

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