Overthinking

Does anyone else do a lot of overthinking . I overthink loads . I end up thinking negative scenarios. I wish it would just stop.

I use to think about a lot about death , understandable after I had 3 major deaths in the family within in a year . I started my apprenticeship and then thoughts slowly went away . I don't have them anymore only occasionally.

I am fed up that I overthink things. I'll be doing something and I'll think myself out of it. Like do I really want to do this . Can I do this .

Just wondered if anyone else has this problem or had this problem. If anyone knows of anyways to stop this problem or ways to manage it

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  • Yes I certainly do and can talk myself out of most things. I can drive myself completely bonkers!! I guess it's anxiety. Life is all too hectic which doesn't help. One day at a time works for me and making lists! My husband is the total opposite and I'm so jealous. Guess we have to accept we are that way and try to switch off! If only we could positively overthink 🀣

  • Yes, my husband is the complete opposite, too.

  • Great post Loulamb!

    I grew up being an obsessive, overthinking worrier. Very anxious! Family life was a vvvv scary thing when I was a youngster...full of big angry shouting sad people. So obsessive worry came naturally to me & my siblings. And I continued worrying well into adulthood...but luckily I started yoga & meditation when I was a teen...am sure this helped me to survive my obsessive worrying tendency

    Even so, finally in my 40s the worrying became way too much for me...and meditation wasn't enough...so, in desperation, I went into therapy ...and learned how to help myself be 'reasonably' worried πŸ˜†...the more I practice, the better I am at this...who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks? Yes, I still am tempted to worry obsessively, but I know how stressful that is for me and I know lupus feeds on stress...whereas lupus doesn't feed on meditation & yoga.

    I agree with polina: 1 day at a time is the way to go.... AND , thanks to therapy, I've learned that I can still make lists & contingency plans even though my priority is to make each hour & each day the most important focus. For me, this is about keeping the stuff of life as balanced as possible...under the circumstances that prevail....and I agree: the death of those close to you can make this much much harder.

    One last thing: since joining this forum 6 years ago, I've found that the friendship, support & info sharing here also helps me to avoid worrying, overthinking etc. This forum is wonderful

    Can't wait to read the replies as they come in

    πŸ€πŸ˜˜πŸ€πŸ˜˜ coco

  • Ah, I too need to aspire to be reasonably worried! Easier said than done for me; I think I have a 'mega worrier' gene!....

  • πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€πŸ˜˜

  • Been having a bit of a philosophical day with my husband, then with my big brother who lives in the States, it was reflective like this question. It was kicked off with listening to a TED talk by Robert Thurman we can be Buddha's, on you tube and this lead on to a beautiful walk on a beach (I don't get out much, tend to avoid UV light) so risked it and I found I needed to connect with the outdoors and fresh air, this was a good time to just chat about life with my husband, even share a pot of tea & a bowl of chips we haven't done this much of late. I said that living where we do helps me, that living in a big city wouldn't have worked for me in the long-term because like lots of life gets to busy and down right stressful. I sought out a lot of teachers over the years to learn about dealing with stressful thoughts, how to relax, be a better me, moving to being more compassionate me. A lot was triggered when I had my daughter, I knew I had to be more grounded for her sake and teach her to not be stressed like my mother was with me (she had 6 kids ).... There are some amazing folks out there to learn from including folks here. There is a saying or Truth when you need a teacher they do appear. So starting with learning to breath is a good start, counting your breath, meditation tapes, yoga like coco mentioned. I felt pretty good today and tried to be more forgiving of me and not try so hard and this felt OK.

    My best treat was a beautiful mother's day card waiting when i got home from my daughter (slow mail) who is away at college with lots of lovely thoughts including teaching her to breath, she is a good teacher too. 😊 as you all are. Wishing you a stress free day. ML πŸ™‹

  • Beautiful, Beautiful Meaningful reply, maggielee ....Happy Mother's Day πŸ’

    You've reminded me of things I didn't mention above: living quietly in remote countryside surrounded by farmland and woods helps me A LOT. also, concentrating on close relationships with the few people amongst my family and friends who really "get" my life choices & lupus

    πŸ€πŸ˜˜πŸ€πŸ˜˜ coco

  • Agree with the other responders but have to add that I over think, briefly rest and play, and then immediately over think all over again. I'm a creature of habit and overthinking is in my very core so I'm kind of resigned!

    Sometimes the overthinking and worrying is best accepted and harnessed to good effect. You're still young of course but it's my experience that leopards don't change their spots so best keep finding ways to accommodate and utilise the worry pot tendencies I feel!

  • I suspect it is very common with chronic disease. I know I have often felt annoyed at myself when I lie in bed trying to sleep and instead have the same old thoughts going round and round in my head.

    You probably know that the usual recommendation from health professionals would be "mindfulness" exercises? They are intended to be a way of training yourself to pay less attention to obsessive and anxiety-filled thinking.

    Some people use audio tapes or mp3s to help them, but it's easy to find mindfulness exercises you can do entirely on your own by doing some googling. Here's some examples:

    positivepsychologyprogram.c...

    youth.anxietybc.com/mindful...

    I have my own version of mindfulness exercises - I put on a CD of birdsong and just imagine myself in the wood, surrounded by sunshine and singing birds. Sometimes it even works!

    X

  • This birdsong recordings thing is a GRRRREAT....I ❀ it....am going to try this out! Thanks πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ€πŸ˜˜

  • There are some very good CDs (I cant get to grips with mp3s and all that!) around - I like the ones which are pure ambient sound, as opposed to the those which have added pan pipes or whatever. One of my favourites is "Dawn Chorus" - easy to find on amazon - but you can actually find similar recordings on YouTube - some of them over an hour long - if you want to experiment to see what sort of soundscape appeals x

  • πŸ˜† me too: CDs always!

    Thanks: will find Dawn Chorus now

    If you ever find a CD that includes a good length recording of nightingale song: please let me know

    πŸ€πŸ˜˜

  • Another walk helped today with my worries I know in the next day or so if I will I have to rethink my desire to see some light...

    I will add my enjoyment of Windham hill the musicians are very talented and have scored many a movie, so pretty relaxing.... Interesting challenge not overthinking a good practice to try not to, a little at a time and more minutes can extend to a whole 20 minutes..... One of my teachers was Byron Katie, she has a website if you want to read up on her, learned about walking meditation, helps to knock the repeating worries...also how to process negative thoughts, we get plenty with our day to day lives.... Haven't learned about links (copying them) on little pad, will check ones recommended...😎 hug to all ml

  • All the time, all the time... Don't know the answer in my case.

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